I lost my mother to suicide one month ago, I am not able to come out from the guilt and wanted to end my life in the same way

[Sreenivas]

I have lost my mother  one month ago.since then i am not able to come out of guilt and feeling sad and depressed. wanted to end my life in the same way.

[KayC]

I am so sorry, it is hard no matter how they go, but suicide is tough.  I hope you willl post and read in our suicide section and at least know you are not alone in how you feel.

Please don't consider this as an option, it's how you may be feeling right now but hopefully not how you'll be feeling on down the road.  A lot of people feel suicidal in early grief.  The problem is it's a permanent solution to a temporary situation.  I know your mother having commit suicide is permanent, but your reaction/feeling to it is not permanent, if you give yourself a chance, your feelings can change.

Grief Support for Survivors of Suicide Loss
Befrienders Worldwide | Emotional support to prevent suicide worldwide
International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) - Resources: Crisis Centers
Suicide: Read This First

 

Thoughts Of Suicide in Grief

[Sreenivas]

I am 34 years old male lives in india . I was born in normal middle class family where my both parents are formers they did everything for me to do well in my life . But I could not do anything for my mother 🧑 and she left me leaving alone and died of suicide . She fell in the well and killed her self . I don’t know what I have done wrong . I have lost hope in life feeling so much pain and guilt and wanted to continue the same path which my mother taken and reunite her. 

[KayC]

I'm so sorry, and you may never have answers to the questions you have but you can learn to continue in life.  Her suicide has more to do with her own inner issues than with you, although it affects you tremendously. 💔

[Sreenivas]

I have so many memories of her coming into my mind all the time . I am not sure , how I can move forward with these memories. I love her so much and wanted to talk her and express my love and care to her . Her entire life sacrifices to me and left me all alone . I am crying everyday and i may continue to do rest of my life with guilt and die every day of my life . if continue to life . 

[Traz]

Hello Sreenivas,

Losing a mother is one of the greatest pains we can have this life. Losing a mother to suicide is something I cannot even imagine and I'm so very sorry for your loss. 

Guilt is an unfortunate feeling that sometimes happens when you lose someone you love. May I ask why you feel so much guilt? Because you did nothing wrong. You don't need to feel guilty that your mom made sacrifices for you. You are her child and that's what parents do.

I say this as a mother myself. You do it because you love your children and want them to have a better life than you had. I know in my heart your mom would feel sadness at your guilty feelings and that she would want you to go on with your life. No, it won't be the same without her but you can go on. There are still beautiful things to live for. 

Is there anyone you can go to for support while you grieve? Can you and your father help each other in your grief? Are there support groups you can go to in your area? Please know you are not alone. Please come here and share anytime. I am thinking of you and sending my love and prayers.

[Sreenivas]

I am need of someone who can hear me  out  what i am going through.