Anger again

[Brazil Man]

This is the second time I dream i am anger at my wife. I was arguing at her because of jealosy. I t was a long dream. Wneh  woke up I was frustrated and regretful beacase I lost a precious time that I could have be  sharing with her.with her.

[foreverhis]

That's so hard, isn't it, when we wake up having had a nightmare filled with anger?  I haven't had all that many dreams with John in them or not many that I remember specifically.  There have been several over the years when I've woken up thinking, "John was there," but having no clue why or even what the dream entailed.

Unfortunately, I only have three specific dream memories of John.  Mine were early on and actually the reverse of yours in that I wasn't angry with him; he was angry with me.  In the first two (about 2 weeks apart), he was furious.  The images of him screaming at me and throwing furniture around our somehow overstuffed living room are painful to this day.  Never mind that such a thing would never have happened, even if he could lift a 250 lb chair and fling it as if it had the weight of a feather.  The worst part of that first one was me asking if he ever loved me and him replying, "Yes," but when I asked if he still did, he sneered and said, "No."  That was enough to jolt me out of sleep with my heart pounding and tears flowing. 

The second dream was horrible in its own way.  I don't remember all of it, but what I do remember, what I can still see in my mind's eye, is John in the distance making love to another woman.  She's just kind of an anonymous form, but he was in sharp focus.  That also threw me out of sleep.  There's no way on earth or beyond that John would have been unfaithful to me.  Knowing that in my logical mind and in my heart certainly didn't make it easier to remember that dream.

The third dream wasn't exactly bad, just frustrating.  We were together with the scene shifting between various places we'd been together and ending with a kind of amalgamation of several out in the countryside by a horse farm. We both rode some growing up and as young adults, but rarely had a chance to ride together.   We were frantic (running, then suddenly driving very fast, then riding horses at a gallop, then madly digging through the weeds at a fence line) looking for...something.  It was something important, critical, that we had lost and could never find.  I woke before my subconscious put a name to whatever it was, though it doesn't take much imagining to "get" what that was all about.  We lost each other and the rest of our lives together, even though I can feel the thread of love between us even now.

I don't have a single good, loving dream memory with John in it since the day he died.  Certainly I have been angry about his death and the months leading up to it and sometimes that includes being angry with him.  We were both imperfect and were married a very long time.  Of course there were times we were angry with each other.  We didn't have things like screaming fights, but we both had to mind our tempers at times and we did raise our voices occasionally.  I can only assume that in those early dreams with John, my subconscious guilt over not saving him had bubbled to the surface and overflowed.

[KayC]

20 hours ago, Brazil Man said:

This is the second time I dream i am anger at my wife. I was arguing at her because of jealosy. I t was a long dream. Wneh  woke up I was frustrated and regretful beacase I lost a precious time that I could have be  sharing with her.with her.

I had an identical dream about a year after George died, I finally dream of him and I get angry with him?!  I was upset with myself afterwards too.  What's weird is we rarely fought, we always understood each other!

Know this is not as uncommon as you might think. 🥰

12 hours ago, foreverhis said:

I don't have a single good, loving dream memory with John in it since the day he died.

I thought I was the only one, the one bad dream is all I remember.  I'm sure I dream of him but don't wake up in them so I'd remember.  Our minds are a funny thing (funny as in odd, not haha).

[LMR]

I have spent some time thinking about this. It's odd isn't it? Could it be some kind of repressed guilt. We are good at feeling bad about inconsequential things.

I have not had many dreams and those I have had have been very brief, at least what I remember of them. They do all have one thing in common. They are never about reality. None of the things happened. Sometimes admittedly they could but those are the ones where we're just walking down a street. I don't even recognise places. Usually we don't speak. They are just a mish mash of things that have passed through my mind at any time. Quite often the ME in my dreams is actually somebody else, I don't even know who, maybe they're influenced by something I was reading or watching on tv. It would be nice to have some really good dreams and I'm sure I would want to cherish those but it's unfair to torment yourself over what is after all a nightmare.

[LMR]

Hey Brazil man. I woke up from a horrible dream this morning. It was supposed to be before I was married but my husband to be was playing around, he had another girlfriend! It was very disturbing but total nonsense and it has taken me the entire day to realise that the whole premise came from a show I'd watched on tv recently. I hope you have got over your angry dream, it really is meaningless.

[KayC]

And I'm glad you realize it as such and can let go of it.

[Brazil Man]

On 9/24/2024 at 5:50 PM, LMR said:

Hey Brazil man. I woke up from a horrible dream this morning. It was supposed to be before I was married but my husband to be was playing around, he had another girlfriend! It was very disturbing but total nonsense and it has taken me the entire day to realise that the whole premise came from a show I'd watched on tv recently. I hope you have got over your angry dream, it really is meaningless.

Dear @LMR. Sorry for delay. Only now I saw your rnessage. I am sorry that you had bad dream and grateful for your concern about my dream. May God bless you.