His time finally came

[Des16]

On September 10, my sweet boy left my side after 19 strong years. The pain is so unbearable. I know it was for the best, I'd rather him in heaven and healthy than here suffering on earth. My boy was so strong, he fought really hard. I can't forget about his last moments with me. The look in his eyes breaks my heart.  We put him down at the vet. I watched the vet inject him with the euthanasia medication and broke down as I comforted him. I felt it most when the vet said the words, "He's gone.".  I took the blanket he was wrapped in and I felt horrible leaving his cold body there until the cremation company picked him up. I broke down again when I got home and saw his bed, toys, etc. I was fine for about an hour until I broke down again and relapsed. I hopped in the shower, sad and high, and broke down on the floor. I felt dead inside. I prayed for strength, I couldn't bare the heaviness on my heart. Some days are harder than others. I imagine the good times and feel good and happy he's not suffering anymore, but man, how I miss my soul dog. He was my literal twin. Born exactly a month before me. I can't wait to get my baby back in ash form. It just sucks I'll never see him again until I die. I hate the fact I need a new routine without him. To me it feels like I'm trying to replace him and his whole existence. At least he's made me comfortable death. I used to be scared of dying but now I can't wait to do so so I can see him again. I would never get another pet ever again. I hate this feeling and never wanna feel it again.

[KayC]

I am so sorry.  I know the pain.  This is one of the hardest losses we can experience because they are so loving, so loyal, live to please us, and we have daily interactions that are now gone.  I called my Arlie my soulmate in a dog.  He was so goofy and fun, it's a loss that will never be filled.  I now have Kodie, he is a registered service dog, so sweet, I adore him, but he didn't fill his big brother's shoes, he had to create his own.  Arlie is buried in my backyard.  I painted rocks, one has a treat on it, one the pickup truck with him in the back end, he loved going for rides.  I no longer have that truck.  

My heart goes out to you in your loss.  It's been five years since I lost Arlie.  We learn to live with it but always we miss them.