So much loss in such a short time

[Jasonb]

I am seeing a psychologist now but it has taken 2 years to find one that bulk billed I'm hoping it can help me cause the medication isn't doing it's part.I feel absolutely empty to be honest I'm not sure if I can be fixed.I know what I need to do to start moving forward,but it's like the brakes are jammed on.I understand that people are trying to help it just seems the same advice everytime and I get frustrated with them cause they don't understand I'm losing my ability to respond to anything with any emotion or interested,I am literally my own worst enemy

[BohoKat]

20 hours ago, Jasonb said:

I am seeing a psychologist now but it has taken 2 years to find one that bulk billed I'm hoping it can help me cause the medication isn't doing it… I'm losing my ability to respond to anything with any emotion or interested,I am literally my own worst enemy

It was a surprise to me after crying all the time and experiencing deep emotions that two years in I became completely numb. I could no longer feel anything or have interest in anything. I isolated myself from all acquaintances.

I have no words of wisdom, just that that one day after many months I woke up and life became slowly real and bearable again. For me it was a matter of waiting it out.

Good luck with the psychologist and the meds. Hopefully it will help at least a little bit.

 

[Jasonb]

I have noticed lately that I am having more emotional breakdowns,angry outbursts and just feeling more and more like giving up.I tried to commit suicide in 2001 after my partner and I lost our son.I never received help after that,I abused alcohol and had a big drug problem.After a few years my partner gave me an ultimatum,give up the drink or lose your family so I gave up alcohol all together but still struggled with the drug problem up until 2 years ago.When my partner was diagnosed I started using again to cope but once she passed I stopped again.I have been using again lately but I don't know whether or not to ask for help as last time I did it went from me getting help to me having to prove myself 

[ShawnC]

Get the help. And of course we always have to prove ourselves ;that's the cost of the process. The alternatives are way worse.

[BohoKat]

On 9/16/2024 at 10:42 AM, Jasonb said:

I have noticed lately that I am having more emotional breakdowns,angry outbursts and just feeling more and more like giving up.I tried to commit suicide in 2001 after my partner and I lost our son.I never received help after that,I abused alcohol and had a big drug problem.After a few years my partner gave me an ultimatum,give up the drink or lose your family so I gave up alcohol all together but still struggled with the drug problem up until 2 years ago.When my partner was diagnosed I started using again to cope but once she passed I stopped again.I have been using again lately but I don't know whether or not to ask for help as last time I did it went from me getting help to me having to prove myself 

@Jasonb I don’t know your diagnoses but keep in mind your prescription meds won’t help much if you are also using. I have struggled myself with self-medication before being diagnosed bipolar in my 30s. Addiction is a hard road but @ShawnC is right the alternatives are much worse. Try to remember your partner would want you to be healthy. Good luck in your search for sobriety.