I lost my father and then my grandma within 14 days

[Sam1996]

Hi, 

I am very new here and looking for any word of advice, suggestions or similar stories to just feel like I am not alone in this extreme extreme painful time that my family and I am going through. I lost my father on 27th August recently and he was absolutely fit and happy! No BP, sugar or cholesterol but he had a sudden heart attack. He was my soul and being. He was my all--I loved him so much that every time I cried when I even thought of losing him and I have even felt that I'd end my life the day he goes because he really was my life. I was trying to cope with the pain of not being able to have my father on my wedding (I am 27), nor to see my sister's first baby (she's currently pregnant), but I was hit with another huge loss--I lost my grandma within 14 days of losing my dad. Everyone says that grandma loved him (her son) too much, so she couldn't bear the pain no more but I just can't come to terms with these two losses. Although, I didn't live my adult life with granny, she was such a superstar! Extremely talented and gorgeous and I don't know what to do anymore. I was right beside her in the final few mins and I was also the last one to speak with dad before he died on the hospital bed. Life will never be the same again. Please help me and share anything that would work.

[always_somethin]

I'm so sorry for the losses of your loved ones. I'm still learning about grief myself since I lost my mom on August 19th. Reaching out here is one of the best things you can do to start. There is also no shame in seeking a therapist or local support group if you want that.

Allow yourself to feel everything. I've tried suppressing my emotions and I nearly got sick. Eat small meals throughout the day - I think I've lived off of cereal with bananas, oatmeal, and peanut butter on toast the first week of my mom's passing. Rest your body and mind as much as possible. Walk outside for a moment, focus on the birds and other animals you see. Write in a journal - I've written poems about my mom and it's given me some comfort. I like to think she's there reading them.

Your father and grandmother both sound like such precious people in your life. It's going to take a lot of time. Allow yourself to heal in your own way. We're always here if you need someone to talk to.

🕊