A Toast

[Aus1412]

....so I had this dream before my mom died.  I was talking with a woman, no name or identity, just a woman, and she said she was going out   for drinks with her mother.  And in the dream, I said "I want to go out for drinks with MY mother!  I want to toast her".  Then I woke up.

Ever since that deam, I had an urgency to toast with my mom.  I would go by her condo and forget.  I even put wine galsses in my car so the next time I saw her, we would toast.  One day in her condo, she just seemed so worn down and slow.  I said to myself, "I want to toast with my mother" .  I quickly went into her kitchen and grabbed two large red plastic cups and poured pop into them.  I told my mom I had had this dream where I wanted to toast with her.    She didn't say much.    We held up our cups and I said "To good health"  We tapped our cups  and drank.  I quickly got up and went into the bathroom.  I didn't want her to see me cry.  When I closed the door to the bathroom, I did cry, silently.

I wiped my eyes and came out of the bathroom as though nothing were wrong.  I think my mom pretended to act like she didn't know I had cried.   I cried in the bathroom because I didn't want to lose my mother, and something deep down told me that was not too  far away.

My mom died about 3 weeks after that.  I think now my dream was telling me to honor my mother because the time was  near.  

.....I love you Mom.