One Line from Grieving.com helped me today.

[Aus1412]

Good morning,

I was reading through Grieving.com's tips for getting through the journey of grief, and this one suggestion so helped me today.  It was the suggestion of living just one day at a time.  That may sound like something we do anyway, but it is not.  Before your loss, you thought of your future and plans without a care, because that future and those plans were going to naturally have your loved ones present, whether they be near or far.   Thinking of that future and those plans now feel so sad and depressing, because even if you picture that future, it doesn't have my mom in it, and that kills me.   

But the cite says just to walk into the day and just move through that day any way you choose.  Don't walk into the picture of the future, just walk into this day.  And then tomorrow, do the same thing.  That so much helped me.  When I walk into just today, it doesn't feel like mom is so far away.    If I wake up and think about life in the future, I only feel despair.    I once read that living in the past causes depression and living too much in the future causes anxiety.  So I see why living in just today without going to far one way or the other is more comforting.  

My mom gone remains difficult.  It's only been a little over one month.   I am still in agony.  But I will try the day-today. 

 

 

[KayC]

I wrote that article ten years after my husband died, not just from my experience, but from listening to thousands of grievers from all over the world.  I practice one day at a time still.  Sometimes it's the only way I can do this journey, growing old alone after 19 years of loss.

1 hour ago, Aus1412 said:

I once read that living in the past causes depression and living too much in the future causes anxiety. 

Very true, I've read the same thing.  Also, comparisons kill joy so try not to compare the now with what was before your loss.