Cooper, I put my best friend to sleep

[Bruce0007]

Cooper was a 7 year old Mini Aussie.  We did everything together, including long hikes in the woods every other day.  He was my best buddy.  My wife is going through treatment for Stage IV, Ovarian Cancer.  Cooper had a senior wellness exam at the vet at the end of June 2024.  The blood panel showed a high liver test for ALP.   My ex vet recommended an ultrasound, I agreed.  Cooper’s ultrasound showed gallbladder wall thickening and it was filled with sludge.  My vet prescribed 500 mg metronidazole an antibiotic twice a day for 30 days.  I asked the vet should I watch for any side effects, he said NO.  By day 21 or Aug 1, 2024, Cooper was having trouble using his back legs.  I tried to get into my local vet, but their phones and computers were down, so they told they couldn’t make an appointment.  I took Cooper to an emergency hospital.  I told them he was taking metronidazole.  I asked could it be toxic reaction, they said no. The first vet said Cooper had a bad back sprain and prescribed muscle relaxants and pain meds.  By Aug 3rd Cooper was much worse, he was having seizures, eye twitching, trouble walking and was drooling.  I took back to the emergency clinic, 2nd vet said he had a brain issue like tumor.  I decided to have him euthanized.  Three days later my vet called and said he didn’t agree with emergency clinic diagnosis.  The vet said he screwed up and prescribed too high dose of metronidazole for Cooper and for too long.   Metronidazole severe side effects include, seizures, drooling, eye twitching and trouble walking.  They could have stopped the metronidazole and Cooper probably would have been okay.  None of the emergency vets looked at the metronidazole and no one told me and I didn’t know about the severe side effects.  I euthanized Cooper based on the information the emergency vets told me at the time.  I feel like I killed my best friend and for no reason.  It has been four weeks now and I’m still crying.  I don’t want to be here.  I buried Cooper and stand by his grave and cry and say I’m so sorry, I let you down and didn’t protect you, when you needed my help the most.  Cooper helped me get through life for past 7 years and brought joy and reason for living and now he is gone.  I’m having a tough time getting through this. I hope time will help heal my troubled soul. 

[KayC]

My heart really goes out to you.  You didn't let Cooper down, the vets did.  I feel like they toyed with his life! 7 is not that old. This just breaks my heart.  I just saw an Aussie mix yesterday, gorgeous dog.  

Please be easy on yourself and if you want to kick someone, it should be the vets.  They were way too careless with your dog's life.

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 19 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.