Lukey Boy

[Rmy]

Luke was always there for me and he helped me get through so much. He was there every day and night. Every bad day or sick day. Late nights of homework, he was up with me and at my feet. After every doctor’s appt and every surgery. Every morning getting ready. No matter what. He always showed up. He was my best friend. He helped me feel secure and confident. He kept us safe and he looked after the little dogs and he never took a day off. 

I wasn’t there for him enough. Not like he was for me. I should have brushed him and bathed him more. I should have walked him more. I should have hugged him more and told him more often how great of a friend he was and how much I loved him. 

I took him always being there for granted. I never thought about him not being there. I never thought about life without the sound of him moving the closet door at night or what it would feel like to not have to ask him to move so I could get out of the shower. I never thought about not having to tell my son to be careful going up and down the stairs because Luke would race him.  I never thought of Luke not being by the stairs when we left and came home. 

Luke doesn’t know that I always always thought about him when I wasn’t with him. I always wanted to get home to him and the others.

Luke had a large mass on his chest that seemed to come out of no where. He had a fever. He was weak. He was tired. He was in pain. Luke had osteosarcoma. He left so fast and I miss him so much. 

[KayC]

You might consider writing your memories with him, I did that with my Arlie, I never wanted him forgotten.

I also did it with our cancer journey and having him euthanized...

 

[TroyB]

Dear Rmy,

We lost our boy Dexter to osteosarcoma only two days ago.  I have many of the regrets, worries and fears that you have expressed about Luke.  It seems that we all feel that we never did enough for our furry soul mates.  It sounds like Luke is/was to you as Dexter is/was to me.  

It is my belief that, as Dexter is for me, Luke will be waiting for you.  Please take care.

[Rmy]

I truly appreciate you taking the time to reply. It made me feel a little less lonely. I am sorry about Dexter. I know things aren’t easy and I know we’ll get through it. 

[bethd]

i lost my sweet boy just 4 days ago, he was around for 20 years and i knew it was coming, just not so fast. even with preparations it would never seem like enough time. 

the guilt doesn’t help, i want to let you know that no matter how many ‘what ifs’ come to mind or the ‘i should of/could of’ thoughts, your dog only knew you and the life you provided. there was never anything to compare to and your dog loved you and loved his life. 

he was happy to be there for you, and as you wanted to get back to him every time you were apart, he waited for you to return home all the same. 

the pain will forever be there, as when our best friends left they took a part of us with them, however please note down all your fondest memories of your friend, how they felt, how they smelled, where you liked to kiss them the most (mine was his nose) and what you guys loved to do together most, even if it was just him cuddling by your feet!

i feel writing the memories helps reminisce in a positive way, you will remember all the happiness you brought your friend and what he brought you. writing also helps you not to forget the little things. 

i miss my rooney more than anything in the world, he was my entire life and being and he will live on in my heart forever. knowing ill never return home to see him breaks me every time the thought comes to mind; i feel you and my thoughts are with you. you gave kindness to your dog, even in the end in choosing to end his suffering although it would mean your suffering would begin. 

give yourself time.

[Elijah Wood]

Hey how are you Guys. I’ve never really done anything like this before but I’m in complete agony and missing my dog Lola so much. I lost her today and I’ve dealt with all types of deaths. From friends being murdered to my family just passing. Nothing in my life compared to what I felt today and feeling currently with dealing with my LoLo’s death. She was the sweetest dog I’ve ever met. Probably barked about 10 times in 17 years. I knew it was eventually coming but I wish it didn’t have to happen. Even writing this breaks my heart in so many ways I never thought was possible. I love my dog so much. Even after watching her pass today I still left my door slightly cracked just so she can get in if she ever comes back. My heart is shattered and I wish I could have my dog back. 

[KayC]

My heart goes out to you, I am so sorry, this is how I'll feel when Kodie's time comes, I will be lost. It's how I felt when my Arlie passed five years ago.

Our dog is that special member of the family that is always loyal and loving, forgiving. They're always happy to see us and welcoming when we come home.  We have special interactions with them and when we come home after they've gone, it just feels empty and void.  There sits their water bowl and food bowl, their bed, their toys...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

It is not our grief that binds us to them, it is our love, and it continues still.

I hope this brings you some comfort and peace:

 

[TroyB]

Hi Elijah, 

I am so sorry about LoLo.  Can't speak for the others but I am not doing so great.  I feel guilty all the time and keep wondering what I could have done to save Dexter's life.  If I should have seen something before he became too sick.  If there was a way of treating him that I don't know about.  I miss Dexter so so much and am desperate to hold him one last time but I know I can't (at least in this life) .

I am told that these are natural reactions and feeling but Dex was something different to me.  I grieved past dogs but Dex was the only one I have from 9 weeks old.  He was and is my baby, my soul mate, my best friend.

I imagine that LoLo has been there for you through all the pain of the past.  That and she gave you unconditional love completely without judgement.  You relied on each other and the whole that is there now will likely be unimaginable.

From the way you are talking you are likely to have been the best person for Lolo to have in her life too.  Right now it will be really difficult but try and remember that she love(s/d) you and you were also her world.  Try and remember the good times.   Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.

[bethd]

i’m sorry to hear all you guys are struggling right now, i’m right there with you. i lost my soul dog a week ago tomorrow and unfortunately the pain does not get any easier- i know its still early days. 

losing a soul dog is a different pain to losing a person, our furry best friends are the one being we can be our true and complete self. you can be as close as humanely possible to a person, but there are still parts of yourself you will hide away, this isn't the case when in the company of our dogs. 

i hope you all know your dogs loved you with its entire being, you were its entire life, you and how you treated them were all they knew, nothing to compare to, not that they would ever want to. dogs are such loyal and devoted companions.

if you had to euthanise your dog, due to sickness or age, please know there was nothing you could do. ending your dogs suffering for the price of your own suffering to begin is an immense kindness, you gave your dog love until the end. 

its devastating having to return home to them not waiting for you, them not creaking your door open in the middle of the night or just being there in general.

your dog wouldn’t of had its life any other way, i know the grieving is extremely hard, almost unbearable, but please, give yourself time. 

write notes on things you remember, your favourite memories, what they smelled like, what their fur felt like, what spots you liked to kiss most (nose for me) or what your favourite pass-time was with them; even if it was just napping. 

my dogs ashes are returning to me soon and he will be immortalised in a small urn necklace that i can keep with me forever, im also tattooing his paw print (first tattoo). if you dont have ashes or a print thats okay. get photos, old toys anything and find ways to make something you can use to remember them- like making your lock screen your dog.

please give yourself time, know you’re not alone in this extremely isolating time. 

[Elijah Wood]

I hope everybody in this forum has a peaceful and wonderful week. Let’s be positive and know that our pups are looking down at us from a much better place and they are in nothing but a joyful state. We will see them one day again. 

[Rmy]

I was notified last night that Luke’s memorial items, including his ashes, are ready for pick up. Part of me wants to rush down there and the other part wants to steer clear and avoid. 
I know things will get easier but getting there is never easy. 
I truly appreciate this group. We are all holding hands virtually and we’ll get through it. 

[TroyB]

@Rmy If you are ready go get him, bring him home.  It may help a little.  I hope so.  

[bethd]

@Rmy it can be hard to imagine your bestfriend turned into ashes, but theres a lot of beautiful ways to immortalise him and keep him with you

you can get different types of jewellery made with small amounts of ash, you can also get mini urns on a necklace or bracelet or just one you want to carry around with you. or display him in your home in his urn.

it will never be easy and the pain will never truly go away, but we will learn to live with the grief and grow around it, our pets memory will forever be in our hearts.

its extremely challenging losing them, but be glad you will be able to keep him nearby forever, and dont rush yourself 🤍

 

[KayC]

Get a friend to go with you...

[AJWCat]

I am so sorry to read about your loss of sweet Luke. It always feels like we didn't do enough. Please don't feel guilty. Life is just that way.

I get it. I am worried about that with my little dog. I will not have her much longer and I know that I must work and I have stuff to do... and still, there's never enough time before we have to say goodbye. I lost my cat very suddenly and horribly which was truly heartbreaking. 

Hang in there.