20 years with my best friend.

[bethd]

i had my little yorkie since i was 2 years old, im now 22. he has been the one constant in my life, he was there when i was left to live alone at 15, he was there when someone very important to me passed away, he was there through all my life's trials and tribulations. im a university student and im in my final year of university, i studied in america last year for 10 months and i had to leave my precious baby behind with my brother, when i came home those 10 months had completely transformed his little body. he was so skinny and frail with a little hunched back, i took him on quite a few vet appointments and was told there was no pain, but as the weeks went on i noticed he was declining. i had the discussion with my brother as he was his dog too but he declined as the veterinarian said there was no pain. i left for a trip to visit my boyfriend on Wednesday 24th of july, 3,000 miles away. just 5 days later i got a call from my brother telling my my sweet boys back legs have given up and he can no longer walk. i knew this was going to be the end. on the 30th of july, at

11:34am, i had to watch the one constant in my entire life be put to sleep through a phone screen, without me there. i know me being there made no difference, he didn't know, he was blind and deaf and had suspected dementia. i am and will always be a quality of life over quantity of life person, and i know euthanasia was a kindness. but the grief that is consuming me now feels like it will be never ending. im in another country across the world and in a couple weeks i will have to return home to emptiness. my sweet boy wont be waiting for me in my bed, he wont be waiting there to give me kisses while he waits for an ear scratch. there wont be any more nights of us sitting on the stoop outside while he smells the fresh air. my heart and body feel crushed, i don't think i will be able to forgive myself for not being there for a final goodbye as he took his last breath. i wont forgive myself for not giving him that kindness sooner before his legs gave up, i knew he was unwell and i knew his back end wasn't doing great. the love i have and will always hat for that dog, is like nothing else in this world. he was my shoulder to cry on, my best friend. i am extremely lost. through every joy and challenge, he stood by my side, teaching me the true meaning of unconditional love, loyalty and companionship. his memory will forever be etched into my heart and the lessons he taught me about love and resilience will continue to guide me. oh how lucky i am to love something so much that it makes saying goodbye so hard. i love you forever, my sweet boy rooney. 

 

[KayC]

I am so sorry, to go through this with your best friend...I did, five years ago.  My heart goes out to you.

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

 

 

[TroyB]

Hello BethD,

I understand am so sorry for your pain and loss.  I posted here about my boy Dexter who we lost just over 48hrs ago.  All I can do is empathise and hope that you have someone to help you.  Someone who will listen but not tell you how to be.  

Please take care and once again, sorry for the loss.  May Rooney forever be your guardian angel until you are once again reunited.

[bethd]

13 minutes ago, TroyB said:

Hello BethD,

I understand am so sorry for your pain and loss.  I posted here about my boy Dexter who we lost just over 48hrs ago.  All I can do is empathise and hope that you have someone to help you.  Someone who will listen but not tell you how to be.  

Please take care and once again, sorry for the loss.  May Rooney forever be your guardian angel until you are once again reunited.

i am so sorry for your loss. its been 4 days for me and it hasnt eased at all. i have people around me for now but people that never met rooney or knew our relationship that well, and also have never owned a dog. so its difficult being understood.

its weird knowing i have to go home soon (30 days) and ill have to restart the grieving process all over again; seeing his toys, beds, bowls etc all stuck in a moment of time ill never get back, its gonna be hard.

i hope you know your dexter loved you and you will have all your memories with him to last a lifetime, his life with you was all he knew and he would never change it. 

no time with our best friends would of been enough. when they left their pain was relieved, but ours just started. 

please keep well

[KayC]

Yes, I often thought of it like I took on his pain, and thus I could better bear it.