Members missinglance Posted June 6, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 6, 2012 On Jan 1 2009 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. While pregnant didn't know baby had any problems. When he was born he was airlifted to a Children's hospital and diagnosed with a congenital birth defect. When he was 3 and a half months old he received a heart transplant. Everything was going well, he came home. He had a few minor problems over the next year or so but nothing that the doctors were too concerned with. When he was 16 months old something ruptured in his heart and passed away instantly. Its really hard because he went into a cardiac arrest in our arms and had to perform CPR. He was gone before the ambulance arrived. I have the support of my family and friends, but no matter how much they care and how much they support me they still don't truly understand what I am going through. I have always wanted to have a lot of children, but when lance was born I had second thoughts about having more but with time that passed. When my son passed away my husband had second thoughts about having anymore children. But after 2 years we have decided we want to have more children. But no matter how much time passes or how much I want to have another baby, I'm still scared. I sometimes blame myself for what happened to Lance when he was born and when he passed away even though they said I did nothing wrong. Sometimes I just need someone to talk to. I want to feel like someone understands. My husband is very supportive and on this journey to healing with me, but sometimes I just need to vent to someone who isn't so close to the situation. MissingLance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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