Where did they go?

[BohoKat]

This is sort of related to @Carol34 wedding response post.

How do you handle abandonment issues that come up when the large family of your partner shuts you out of contact and activities when your partner passes? I have great-grandchildren I have never seen. It has been three years since my stepson has talked to me or his sister (my daughter). How do you deal with missing them and avoid being bitter?

[KayC]

George's family disappeared on me when he died, only 3 siblings came to his funeral, he had 10 brothers and sister and they lived in Oregon except one died.  So most did not bother.  

In our situation I considered the source: most of them were such a mess from how their dad did/didn't "raise" them.  His dad didn't bother coming to his funeral either even though offered a ride, he lived two hours away.  

I didn't want the problems that would come with his family so it was fine by me, although he had one sister who turned out well.  I shrugged my shoulders and focused on what I did have...my own family.  They didn't get it but they cared.

[Bou]

17 hours ago, BohoKat said:

This is sort of related to @Carol34 wedding response post.

How do you handle abandonment issues that come up when the large family of your partner shuts you out of contact and activities when your partner passes? I have great-grandchildren I have never seen. It has been three years since my stepson has talked to me or his sister (my daughter). How do you deal with missing them and avoid being bitter?

You can't change how others feel, so you have to move forward so as not to be stuck ...and think of it as ... it is the choice they make.  You reach out and make your effort but if it is not reciprocated you can't keep beating your head against a wall.  Don't take it on as being something you did.  It is their issue.  It might be something as so simple as seeing you reminds them and they can't handle that.   

I don't know I am just throwing my thoughts out there. 

[KayC]

Good input, Bou!