I kissed my wife at her mouth

[Brazil Man]

I kissed my deceased wife at her mouth because I loved her so much. Does it seem weird or normal ? has anybody here kissed his/her deceased spouse ? It was in her funeral becase in Brazil we have open casket ceremony and they bury on the very same day.

[Sparky1]

I kissed my wife on the forehead when she passed away. All I can say is that she was already cold, and even more colder in the funeral home, because they keep them in freezers until the burial.

[BohoKat]

My husband passed in hospice in our home. I held his hand for several hours until the funeral director came. I did kiss him on the mouth before they took him away. It’s not weird at all, just the only way we can still have contact with them.

Peace, BohoKat 

[ElaineG]

I kissed my husband all over his beautiful face after he passed. I think it’s completely normal. This is someone you LOVE.

[ThirdG]

By the time I got to see my wife, her body had been kept refrigerated for three days in preparation for the cremation she wanted. Her lips were wet with condensation, and had been stuffed unnaturally by the funeral director. So I didn't kiss them. I did whisper in her ear, although of course she couldn't hear me. They had removed her wedding ring and presented it to me along with a lock of her hair before the viewing. I lifted the sheet to view her left hand. It was oddly clinging to the stretcher. Ever so cold, I moved it beside her. Because of ballet lessons she'd taken as a teenager, she had ballerina's feet from the toe shoes. Laid out, her feet were left bare, although her shoes were nearby. But lying there, her feet were as I always knew them. That brought on my tears. It was a part of her that had never changed, in all the 47 years I knew her. Now, sadly I have her cremains nearby me, but photographs (including at the viewing) and my personal memories can still make me weep -- now two years on. My widowed friends, told me that I'd always miss her. I guess that's true. My grandfather died fifty years ago November, and once or twice a year I'll shed a tear for him.

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

The morning of Veronica’s passing, I was away from the hospital when she breathed her last.  I am told I was spared from watching her draw her last breath, which her sister was present for.  Last time I was with her was around 2 am in the morning and she couldn’t speak anymore, but I made her smile and it was such a beautiful smile.  When I got back to her ICU room later, all the equipment had been cleared away and it was just Veronica, laying propped up slightly, looking so at peace.  The wrinkles and creases in her face seem to have disappeared with the pain and suffering she had been dealing with from her ill health.  I stroked her hair, kissed her lips, her forehead, stroked her hair again, stroked her face, her hands, and then left for the hospital staff to do what they needed to do.

[KayC]

I did also, in the hospital after he died, before they took him away for cremation.  I think it's natural to one more time...

[DMB]

I think it is quite normal.  I just buried my younger sister, and I kissed her forehead many times before they closed the casket.

I am back to work today.  I am still in disbelief.  I'm probably going to need help with this. 

[foreverhis]

I kissed John’s forehead and cheeks. I don’t recall if I also kissed his lips. Maybe, but much of the time between when he drew his last breath and me leaving his room and the hospital is a blur. It’s like I have very clear snippets with fog in between.

Two things really stand out in my memories. One was when the doctor and nurses came into the room after I called them. I was still holding onto him and I said, “He’s warm. He’s still so warm.”  The second was when the nurses were leading me out of the room so the funeral home people could do what they needed to do. I turned around and basically ran back to him to kiss him one last time and say, “I love you.”

Those who haven’t been through it may think it’s weird or gross, but we know it isn’t. It’s natural to need that final touch, even though we know their spirits and souls have already left for the next world. Their bodies are the last tangible proof that they lived and loved in this world.

[Sparky1]

2 hours ago, foreverhis said:

Those who haven’t been through it may think it’s weird or gross, but we know it isn’t. It’s natural to need that final touch, even though we know their spirits and souls have already left for the next world. Their bodies are the last tangible proof that they lived and loved in this world.

To me it's not weird either. I kissed my wife's forehead, cheeks, and hands. And as I was standing by the side of the bed in the hospital room, there was a divider curtain behind me. I could swear her spirit was standing right beside the curtain. Even my stepdaughter sensed it. One night not long after she passed away, I was in bed, maybe half asleep, and my wife was hovering right above me face to face, and she said " I love you". It seemed too real for me to be dreaming it. That is something I will never forget. 

[KayC]

4 hours ago, DMB said:

I'm probably going to need help with this.

I am so sorry.  Talk about it when you are ready...

[foreverhis]

9 hours ago, DMB said:

I'm probably going to need help with this. 

We're here.  Sending you hugs.💗

[DMB]

I'm still in disbelief at the moment.  She was only 60.  I just turned 63. She was the 1st one in our entire family diagnosed with breast cancer. Her original diagnosis was a stage 3 with multiple lymph nodes involved. She had both breasts removed and underwent radiation to her chest wall. Once done with surgery and radiation she was sent to medical oncologist who said her particular sub type likes to go to the bones.  She then went for a bone scan, resulted in a bone biopsy and it had metastasized to a few places in her spine.  Very small and no symptoms.  She was 50 years old.  There are lots of treatments available so when a progression would show on her scans they would change her treatment plan, and she lived a full life up until recently. Ibrance was pretty rough on her.  She became anemic and had to have blood transfusions a couple of times.

I should mention as you see all these ads on the TV about women living longer and longer with metastatic disease, the downfall to this is when there is another progression it's going to your organs (liver, lungs, brain mostly) and they are also starting to see other complications like leptomeningeal disease which is what my sister was diagnosed with AFTER a few months of no doc figuring this out.  Back in May she was losing vision in one eye for a few minutes.  The eye doc found her optic nerve to be inflamed which we didn't know is a medical emergency.  She was admitted to the hospital (the day before my daughter's bridal shower) and they were treating this with IV steroids. She was then sent to multiple docs and as luck would have the oncologist that had been treating her all this time developed her own health issue and was forced to retire.  Now, my sister has a new doc. I believe this new doc did run the right tests, but this cancer was sneaky and was not seen on 2 brain MRIs and 3 spinal taps came back with no breast cancer cells. But her protein levels were off the charts.  Finally, a spine MRI caught it.  Now it's July, and she's sent back to radiation oncologist who thought she'd be a good candidate for proton therapy, so she was sent into HUP (Hosp. of the Univ. of PA).  We were encouraged this would alleviate the symptoms she was having and possibly receive a remission for a time. She was mapped for radiation the morning of my daughter's wedding and she was in attendance that evening. We had a lovely time together.  This will be a memory never forgotten.  We did hug and cry at the end of the night.  First time I ever saw fear in her face. She also experienced much joy, so we were all holding onto that.

When she got the call to come in to begin treatment she did, however, after the 4th day she started not feeling well.  They took her back down to the city via the ER (a nightmare) and they found she had a bile duct blockage.  They tried an endoscopy type procedure, but they were not able to unblock it.  I did not get the explanation for this, but my feeling is between a CT scan and the procedure they probably saw more cancer in her abdomen.  She managed 1 more proton treatment but she was in a lot of pain and very anxious during the treatment to her head.  They hooked her up with her own way to give herself pain meds.  They tried the procedure again to unblock the bile duct, but her heart rate would not allow it.  Finally, they went in thru her liver to unblock it.  After all this, she is completely out of it with pain meds and by the next day it was decided no more, and she was placed on hospice care on Saturday.  She passed on Tuesday evening.  I was there on Sunday and Tuesday.  I couldn't stay until the very end, my brother and I left about an hour before.  I feel I was also trying to protect him from seeing it as I did this once before and it's really hard not knowing which breath is their last.  It was 31 days from finding this spread to being gone!  They had covid too, from entering thru the ER they think, so we all had masks, gown, and N95s on, and it was really uncomfortable.  I took my mask off when I would lean over into my sister's ear.  I told her it was OK to let go if she needs to, that we all we there and loved her.  Many many prayers said at her bedside.  As I saw one of my nieces having a hard time I leaned over to my sister and asked her that when she sees my husband to please be sure to punch him square in face for leaving me to finish the bay cottage.  I also told her I was sorry she never got down to see it and I thanked her for the few things she gave to me to put in it.

I'm trying to process all this, and doing the one day, one minute thing.  I also had a breast cancer at age 56 and it's hard that every morning now I wake up and she doesn't. How is that fair? My brother in-law is a little older (67) and he already said he may be relying on me since I've been thru this.  Not sure I'm ready for that, but I will certainly try.  I did tell him no drastic decisions in the 1st year (like selling the house) and that the 1st year is really hard.   Their 2 daughters are both under 30! So young!  They all have services available to them since she was on hospice care, so I also advised them to use it if needed. I also reached out to my nieces to let them know that I am available to them for anything 24/7/365. 

That's all I got.  Sorry so long.  Not sure how long I'll be in this thought process.  Her services were beautiful.  

[KayC]

I am so sorry. Skin cancer runs in my family, It killed my dad at 62. The radiation brought on his final heart attack.

I truly am sorry, nothing fair about any of this.