But mom would t do it like that

[MichaelPRoss]

I am starting to get push back from my kids who don’t live in the house about how I’m parenting the 1 who does. We lost my wife 6 months ago. I have 1 kids who is still in the house and the other one don’t approve that I let her go out or have friends over a lot. They have started saying mom wouldn’t let her do that. Me and my wife did have different parenting styles I’ve always been more relaxed. I don’t see why they are taking offense to this and I don’t want to feel attacked. I am just so confused and don’t know how to help them all

[Sarah1008]

Hello,

You're not going to please everyone and so do what is best for you and your kid that is living with you. The other kids have moved out and they'll get on with their lives once they get bored of getting no where. It's your house and therefore your rules. 

Best wishes

[shawnt]

Parenting is a thank less job. Do it with love , that's the best you can do.

Everyone has an opinion, we were all kids so we think our opinion means something. I don't know about you but nobody gave me a manual when we brought them home. Perhaps I also missed picking up the one at the funeral home " So their mother is gone , What now? " 13 steps to becoming an excellent single parent. 

Do it with love, it's the only thing you can do.

[Bou]

On 7/3/2024 at 3:43 PM, MichaelPRoss said:

I am starting to get push back from my kids who don’t live in the house about how I’m parenting the 1 who does. We lost my wife 6 months ago. I have 1 kids who is still in the house and the other one don’t approve that I let her go out or have friends over a lot. They have started saying mom wouldn’t let her do that. Me and my wife did have different parenting styles I’ve always been more relaxed. I don’t see why they are taking offense to this and I don’t want to feel attacked. I am just so confused and don’t know how to help them all

I am sure that you are.......but being relaxed and being in the know.  Make sure you know what your daughter is doing, who she is with, where she is going .....all the things.  Just as you are grieving so is your daughter.  Her judgment may be off as may yours.  Still living at home she still needs you.  Maybe that is what your grown kids are trying to tell you.    but.... with that in thought 100 percent you are the parent!!!   Hope this Helps.    Also I come from a place of losing my father as a teenager and having my mother checked out and myself being in a state of grief, hormones, young, naive, and thinking I knew everything a bit of a mess.   Food for thought.

[BohoKat]

On 7/3/2024 at 2:43 PM, MichaelPRoss said:

I am starting to get push back from my kids who don’t live in the house about how I’m parenting the 1 who does. We lost my wife 6 months ago. I have 1 kids who is still in the house and the other one don’t approve that I let her go out or have friends over a lot. They have started saying mom wouldn’t let her do that. Me and my wife did have different parenting styles I’ve always been more relaxed. I don’t see why they are taking offense to this and I don’t want to feel attacked. I am just so confused and don’t know how to help them all

Know that you are the parent in charge. I’m sure hearing your wife “would have done it differently” is a hot button for pain and guilt and I don’t (hopefully) think they mean it that way. Things are different for everyone and that means discomfort for your older kids too. As long as your kid at home is safe and functioning well in their grief just recognize it’s different with your wife gone. Explain it to your older kids but put up a boundary that you are going to do what is best in the situation.