What's Your Grief, on Acceptance

[KayC]

Dear Reader, The word acceptance is thrown around a lot in grief. Most people recognize it as the final "stage" in the "five stages of grief," which is a grief theory that has had a significant impact on our society's view of grief, despite it not being an accurate depiction of grief. The result is that many people think of acceptance as something that closes out or ends grief. Personally, I don't believe grief unfolds in distinct stages, nor do I think it ever truly ends for most of us. However, I do see a role for acceptance in the context of grief. But, in my opinion, acceptance isn't something that ushers grief out of our lives; instead, it is a mechanism for allowing it in. Acceptance, which can mean a "willingness to tolerate a difficult or unpleasant situation," is most beneficial when we use it to accept grief's presence and ongoing existence in our lives rather than avoid it. When we resist grief, for one reason or another, we may feel a greater sense of fear, shame, and isolation. Instead of finding ways to cope, we put all our energy into running away from it (which, consequently, doesn't work). Learning to accept our grief as human, valid, and most likely normal—even when it doesn't look how we or anyone else expected it to look—takes some of that edge off. And when we can allow grief to sit in the room with us, we are better able to find ways to understand and make sense of it. In today's newsletter, we will share our latest article, How Normalization and Validation Help in Grief. And we'll share a few other articles aimed at demystifying, humanizing, normalizing, and validating the wide range of experiences associated with grief and life after loss. Sincerely, Eleanor & The WYG Team