I'm 21 and feel lost without my mum and dad

[Keve]

I'm not sure why i'm posting here, I'm just terrible at sharing emotions in real life so thought I'd give this a go. I lost my mum a couple of weeks before my birthday and christmas in December 2009. She had suffered while battling cancer for the previous 2 years.

I lost my dad last month in May to heart failure, he was in his 80's and quite a lot older than my mother. Since my mum passed I had cared for and lived with my dad whilst working a full time job. Now that dad has also passed I can acknowledge the fact that I'm now

alone and an only child. Of course there is the distant family but I barely spoke to them before and don't see myself doing so now. My friends are great but unfortunately I've always emulated a calm and happy exterior and I feel that noone is able to see just how much I'm hurting.

In saying that I'm not sure if I want to confide in anyone because I don't see that point, I can't imagine anyone's words changing my mindset. I've always been an independent person and dealt with my mums loss alone with the support of my grieving father. I was ok with this as I knew

that the only person that could possibly comprehend and appreciate the loss of my mum as much as I would be him. I assume I will continue on with my life but always carry a feeling that I will never have anyone that will truly and completely love me like my

parents did. It's a lonely feeling and I wish that they were still here but I'm sure that there are others that have experienced much worse and moved forward with their life. Keeping that in mind I know that I'm going to be ok in the long run, I just feel that I'm always going to

have a heavy heart because inevitably I know that I'm alone. Life's tough

[vivkib]

Eve42, I'm sorry for your loss. Anytime we loose someone we love it's a very lonely feeling. I lost my Father-in-Law, then my Dad within 2 years of each other. My oldest son Kevin passed 8 months ago suddenly. I have other family, 4 other kids, husband, mom, and ex-husband (Kevin's Dad) and his wife but I still feel alone at times. Not sure how to put my feelings into words, so I don't. You are not alone, we are here for you and want to hear about your Mom and Dad. Please feel free to come here and share, cry, vent, whatevery you need at the time. It does help that loneliness not feel so bad. Hugs and Prayers to you. Kevin's Mom- Vivian