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My cat died so young. How do I get over this


tokito

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I'm reaching out because I'm going through an incredibly difficult time and could really use some support My cat Bamboo passed away two days ago in a tragic accident He was only 5 years old and he was like a member of our family

My dad a ccidentally ran him over in the car and my mum tried to help by putting him under a jumper to stop him from scratching but he bit her hand in panic We rushed him to the vet but unfortunately he didn't make it then we had to spend the day in hospital.

I'm struggling to cope with this loss I'm overwhelmed with grief and can't stop crying My parents also feel a lot of guilt and pain and I want to support them but I'm finding it hard to manage my own emotions right now

I feel lost and would really appreciate any guidance or support you can offer during this difficult time, i dont want to continue in life as i feel theres not mutch to live for accept my parents. I just want him back.

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I am so sorry!  My neighbor accidentally ran over his sidekick, his little dog, very traumatic, very hard!  

I'm not sure what a jumper is but I'm sorry it didn't help.  I'm glad your kitty is out of pain now.  I understand the feeling of not much to live for, I lost everyone, my husband, parents, two siblings, my dog and cats, but my son found a wonderful pup for me and he's literally been a lifesaver.

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers
I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

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foreverhis
9 hours ago, KayC said:

I'm not sure what a jumper is

I am guessing they are in the UK. A jumper is a pullover sweater. I’m not sure if cardigans are also considered jumpers.

@tokito I am so very sorry and will respond later when I’m off my phone and on my laptop.❤️

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foreverhis

@tokito  Sorry it's taken so long for me to respond.

On 6/22/2024 at 3:19 AM, tokito said:

I'm struggling to cope with this loss I'm overwhelmed with grief and can't stop crying My parents also feel a lot of guilt and pain and I want to support them but I'm finding it hard to manage my own emotions right now

Of course you're struggling.  I'd be surprised if you weren't.  Such a tragic accident is shocking and devastating. 

It's doubly hard because your dad is dealing with both guilt and grief, especially your grief, I imagine.  I don't mean this to sound callous toward your parents, not at all, but right now you need to focus on your own grief as much as possible.  I understand that you want to be there for your parents and help them.  In time, you will be able to and should.  If you need to talk to them about what happened, then you should, but for now, don't force yourself.

On 6/22/2024 at 3:19 AM, tokito said:

i dont want to continue in life as i feel theres not mutch to live for accept my parents. I just want him back.

First, if you find yourself feeling serious about not continuing your life, please, please, I urge you in the strongest possible way to talk to a suicide prevention hotline and find a grief counselor, preferably one who specializes in loss of companion animals (if there is such a thing).  You need someone to talk to about, well, everything.  You need a place where you can let out everything, including any blame you are feeling toward your dad.  Although it was an accident and those kinds of accidents do happen, you may be internalizing anger and blame toward your dad/parents.  Keeping everything bottled up makes it all the harder to deal with your tremendous loss.

For now, all you can do is what we all learn to do.  We take it one day, one hour even, at a time.  It's a cliche because it's also true.  Tell yourself that today you will get out of bed, get dressed, have a meal (whatever you can manage to eat; smoothies are good when the thought of regular food is nauseating), and just keep breathing.  Cry without shame.  Your Bamboo wasn't just "like" a member of your family; he was part of your family.  Not everyone understands the depth of love and the connection we have with our most special pets.  Ignore anyone who tries to tell you that Bamboo was "just a cat."  Your Bamboo wasn't "just" anything.  He was a huge part of your life and family.  Your grief is real, deep, and deserves respect.  I'm so very sorry you have a reason to be here with us.

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Joel Smith
On 6/22/2024 at 3:19 AM, tokito said:

I'm reaching out because I'm going through an incredibly difficult time and could really use some support My cat Bamboo passed away two days ago in a tragic accident He was only 5 years old and he was like a member of our family

My dad a ccidentally ran him over in the car and my mum tried to help by putting him under a jumper to stop him from scratching but he bit her hand in panic We rushed him to the vet but unfortunately he didn't make it then we had to spend the day in hospital.

I'm struggling to cope with this loss I'm overwhelmed with grief and can't stop crying My parents also feel a lot of guilt and pain and I want to support them but I'm finding it hard to manage my own emotions right now

I feel lost and would really appreciate any guidance or support you can offer during this difficult time, i dont want to continue in life as i feel theres not mutch to live for accept my parents. I just want him back.

Miss, i feel terrible as well. Some years back i tried to rescue a cat leaving out food and water. I lived sorta out in the country side in Florida. One night i woke up in the middle of the night, and i could hear the horrible screams and crys of this cat. Coyotes did this. And i blame myself for this occurance and also myself for not trying to go out and save the cat from the coyotes. Just know pain and suffering is momentarily a reaction too things that happen beyond our control. And i am sorry you are going through this. It will get better with time.

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On 7/9/2024 at 10:22 PM, foreverhis said:

@tokito  Sorry it's taken so long for me to respond.

Of course you're struggling.  I'd be surprised if you weren't.  Such a tragic accident is shocking and devastating. 

It's doubly hard because your dad is dealing with both guilt and grief, especially your grief, I imagine.  I don't mean this to sound callous toward your parents, not at all, but right now you need to focus on your own grief as much as possible.  I understand that you want to be there for your parents and help them.  In time, you will be able to and should.  If you need to talk to them about what happened, then you should, but for now, don't force yourself.

First, if you find yourself feeling serious about not continuing your life, please, please, I urge you in the strongest possible way to talk to a suicide prevention hotline and find a grief counselor, preferably one who specializes in loss of companion animals (if there is such a thing).  You need someone to talk to about, well, everything.  You need a place where you can let out everything, including any blame you are feeling toward your dad.  Although it was an accident and those kinds of accidents do happen, you may be internalizing anger and blame toward your dad/parents.  Keeping everything bottled up makes it all the harder to deal with your tremendous loss.

For now, all you can do is what we all learn to do.  We take it one day, one hour even, at a time.  It's a cliche because it's also true.  Tell yourself that today you will get out of bed, get dressed, have a meal (whatever you can manage to eat; smoothies are good when the thought of regular food is nauseating), and just keep breathing.  Cry without shame.  Your Bamboo wasn't just "like" a member of your family; he was part of your family.  Not everyone understands the depth of love and the connection we have with our most special pets.  Ignore anyone who tries to tell you that Bamboo was "just a cat."  Your Bamboo wasn't "just" anything.  He was a huge part of your life and family.  Your grief is real, deep, and deserves respect.  I'm so very sorry you have a reason to be here with us.

 

On 7/9/2024 at 10:22 PM, foreverhis said:

@tokito  Sorry it's taken so long for me to respond.

Of course you're struggling.  I'd be surprised if you weren't.  Such a tragic accident is shocking and devastating. 

It's doubly hard because your dad is dealing with both guilt and grief, especially your grief, I imagine.  I don't mean this to sound callous toward your parents, not at all, but right now you need to focus on your own grief as much as possible.  I understand that you want to be there for your parents and help them.  In time, you will be able to and should.  If you need to talk to them about what happened, then you should, but for now, don't force yourself.

First, if you find yourself feeling serious about not continuing your life, please, please, I urge you in the strongest possible way to talk to a suicide prevention hotline and find a grief counselor, preferably one who specializes in loss of companion animals (if there is such a thing).  You need someone to talk to about, well, everything.  You need a place where you can let out everything, including any blame you are feeling toward your dad.  Although it was an accident and those kinds of accidents do happen, you may be internalizing anger and blame toward your dad/parents.  Keeping everything bottled up makes it all the harder to deal with your tremendous loss.

For now, all you can do is what we all learn to do.  We take it one day, one hour even, at a time.  It's a cliche because it's also true.  Tell yourself that today you will get out of bed, get dressed, have a meal (whatever you can manage to eat; smoothies are good when the thought of regular food is nauseating), and just keep breathing.  Cry without shame.  Your Bamboo wasn't just "like" a member of your family; he was part of your family.  Not everyone understands the depth of love and the connection we have with our most special pets.  Ignore anyone who tries to tell you that Bamboo was "just a cat."  Your Bamboo wasn't "just" anything.  He was a huge part of your life and family.  Your grief is real, deep, and deserves respect.  I'm so very sorry you have a reason to be here with us.

Thank you so much for your kind and understanding words they mean a lot to me and I know your advice will stick with me for a long time, Things are slowly starting to get better and I’m starting to feel a bit more hopeful I’m even thinking about getting a dog. Your support means a lot. You don’t know how much you've helped me.

 

I also wanted to let you know that I’m seeing a counselor, which has been really  helpful It’s a slow process but I’m starting to feel a bit better. Thanks again for everything. 🙏

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50 minutes ago, Joel Smith said:

Some years back i tried to rescue a cat leaving out food and water.

You did a kindness for the cat, I am sorry it ended like it did.  I also feed a feral cat but he claws up my place in shards and is nocturnal, he would go crazy if trapped, so has to content himself outside but I provide food, water and he has safe places to be.  My little dog has scared off bears, skunks, cougar, this cat knows how to get gone in a lightening flash!  Please don't be hard on yourself, I understand, it's a hard situation.

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On 7/12/2024 at 2:53 PM, tokito said:

I also wanted to let you know that I’m seeing a counselor, which has been really  helpful It’s a slow process but I’m starting to feel a bit better. Thanks again for everything. 🙏

This is excellent news.  It can help so much to just talk about things and work through the beginning of deep grief with a professional who "gets it." 

I'm happy that I was able to help in some small way.  We're all here for each other, which I have found immeasurably helpful over the years.

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