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[Daisy12023]

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[KayC]

There is no right or wrong way with grief, only our way.  But feelings are not facts and the truth you already stated...if anything you helped him by not subjecting him to more prodding and for what?  The end would be the same.

I am so sorry for the loss of your father.  He was under someone else's care and I don't see you as responsible for what happened, regardless of your profession, we are sometimes too close to a situation to see it, you saw your father as your dad, not as a patient, and hindsight is not ours ahead of time.  That said, I know I can't talk you out of feeling as you do.  Feelings are just feelings though and need no actual basis to feel them.  

Most all of us go through all of the "what ifs" in early grief in an effort to find some different possible ending as the one that happened is unfathomable....only to find there really is only one outcome and that's the outcome that happened.

I do hope these articles will aid you in getting through your guilt feelings...
Guilt and Regret in Grief
Grief and the Burden of Guilt
Guilt In the Wake of a Parent's Death
Address Guilt When Grieving
and this video is helpful as well:

 

[KayC]

It's tough, I know it is. (((hugs)))