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Rey Dominguez Jr
Posted

I can relate with everything you said, specially “I’m so sorry!”  

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Rey Dominguez Jr
Posted
19 hours ago, Sparky1 said:

I wish I had done more things with her, such as more travelling

I placed limits on what i thought we could as far as traveling because I saw Veronica struggle with mobility in the last few years.  Instead of asking her if she might want to try something I just assumed she would not want to make the attempt.  Then, in Nov 2022, when we flew to Houston for a shipmate’s memorial, we proved, to each other if nothing else, that she could travel by air, with some planning and work.  Like a “proof of concept.”  That made us brave enough to book a flight to Hawaii, only to have to cancel because of her kidney failure.  

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Posted
4 hours ago, Rey Dominguez Jr said:

That made us brave enough to book a flight to Hawaii, only to have to cancel because of her kidney failure.  

I am so sorry you had to cancel, but maybe that hope for a time was what she needed...damn!  So hard to have to cancel these special things...

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Rey Dominguez Jr
Posted

Yes, it really sucked.  Veronica and I just sat quietly at home after the doctor said she needed to start dialysis right away.  I just told her we’re a team and I would help her deal with it.  When I cancelled the hotel and airline, our son said it felt like someone had passed away.  I had to explain all the stuff.  

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widower2
Posted
On 6/13/2024 at 3:38 AM, Rey Dominguez Jr said:

  Like a “proof of concept.”  

Spoken like a veteran. :) Or a defense contractor, at least. Just don't say "CONOPS" or I'll have bad dreams!

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Posted
On 6/12/2024 at 2:17 AM, widower2 said:

For anyone that's had a similar guilt trip: 

- Shame on me for the many days I woke up and the first thing that popped into my head wasn't "wow she's in my life!"
- Shame on me for not sending her flowers on days other than Valentines Day or her birthday
- Shame on me for the times I upset or even hurt her and was too stupid to realize it
- Shame on me for not remembering that of all the guys out there, she chose to be with me. Seriously? 
- Shame on me for not appreciating her more and being an idiot in general 

I swear if I ever see her in another existence beyond this one, the first words out of my mouth will be "I'm so sorry." 

I just hope I get the chance

You are only human.  Learn from this and be a better person moving forward but don't put this on yourself everyday.   We all do the best we can with what we have and where we are at.  We all have moments.  Let the guilt slide off of you and move forward.  Your loved one wouldn't want you sitting in this shame.   I believe she hears you when you say you are sorry and you don't have to carry that on anymore.    Just a few thoughts

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