Alone in the World

[BritAbroad6]

Thank you for allowing me to join. In December 2019 my husband was diagnosed with cancer. He was operated on in the April of 2020, just as Covid was causing chaos and misery. Shortly after the operation he suffered a cardiac arrest and was not expected to survive. Despite Covid  restrictions,  I was allowed to be at his bedside every day and insisted the doctors keep him alive, even though they were convinced he would be a mental cabbage if he came round.. He was in a coma for weeks, but finally came out of it and his brain recovered. Then the cancer spread and my husband also became a dialysis patient. Never once did he complain. Because of Covid we didn’t leave the house, apart from his trips to hospital for dialysis. I nursed him myself. On January the 1st last year, my husband collapsed in our lounge and was rushed to hospital. He never returned home. They discovered the cancer had spread to his brain. I visited him every day for two weeks. His twin brother joined me and was there when the doctors requested I give permission to stop dialysis- a death sentence. I refused  at first, even though I knew he would never wake up. The day I finally gave permission, he was moved to the Paliative ward, where they put a bed for me as well. I can't describe the horror that place gave me, even though the staff were kind and experts. I was there when he gave his last breath, but I shall never get rid of the feeling of despair and guilt. We were married for 55 years and alas had no children. We moved to Germany in 1968, where I still live. However, now I am alone. No children, my family and my late husband’s family, live in the UK. Most of our friends have also passed away. Grief has caused my health to deteriorate.

 I think part of the trouble is that feeling of being left behind to fight my problems on my own. I spent 3 years by my husband's side as he fought his health battles, he didn’t like it if I left the room for long. We lived for one another, isolated due to Covid. Now I am not only mourning my husband, but fighting my own health battles, alone.

It is little things that set me off, smelling seafood cooking, it reminds me of those wonderful holidays we had by the sea, which I shall never experience again.  My life is very restricted, as I have heart and kidney failure and shall soon start dialysis. It is true, grief is not good for the kidneys.

Nearly all our good friends have died or are sick. I have just one good friend left, but she lives 50 kilometres away. I have no children and the little family left live in the UK. I live in Germany and have never felt so alone. Losing one’s partner at any age is bad enough, but after 55 years of happy marriage, it is devastating.

One and a half years later, my grief seems to get worse rather than better. I started hallucinating and was sent to a neurologist, who in turn sent me to a Pyschotherapist. However, I can't talk to anyone about my husband’s lasts weeks, which will haunt me forever.

 I nursed my husband for 3 years. He fought cancer bravely and with optimism. It was during the Covid epedemc, so I didn’t call in any help. Then he collapsed on January 1st last year and was rushed to hospital. There they found the cancer had reached the brain. Thus followed a nightmare three weeks, in a large, old fashioned Munich hospital. I went daily by taxi the 35 kilometres, it was winter, cold and dark days,, I can't describe the feelings I went through, it was like a bad dream. My husband, with his forehead sewn from left to right, unconscious in intensive care. I'd sit for hours by his bed hoping he would come round. Then, when the ward closed for the night, I would struggle to reach the taxis, hardly able to breath myself. Empty corridors in the hospital, feeling alone. Then taxi drivers, strangers, driving me back home, fighting snow and ice on the roads. I would arrive home to an empty house. The doctors asked me several times to let my husband die. I couldn’t . He was on dialysis, all they had to do was stop dialysis. Finally they forced my consent. They moved him to the Paliative ward. I followed the doctor as he pushed my husband's bed. It seemed an endless journey to the ward, me having to stop every few yards to get my breath back. Again it didn’t seem real, was this some awful nightmare. We stopped outside a grey door, with a large 80 painted on it, this was to be his room. They put a bed in there for me as well, and left me with him. He died the same evening, simply stopped breathing. It was evening, a change of shift for the staff.I stayed some time with my husband and finally decided to leave. There was nobody in sight, even the nurses room was empty. Two candles burned in the window of their office, someone else had also died that night. I somehow found my way out of the area and to the main entrance for the last time. I got in a taxi and felt numb. The poor driver asked me what was wrong and I told him, my husband had just died. We drove in silence the rest of the way. He saw me to the door, as it was dark. I entered my house. I was alone in the world.

 

 

[KayC]

I am so sorry!  You are beginning the journey I began 19 years ago Father's Day.  I remember being stunned, in shock, it affected me physically (edema).  The brain fog was palpable.  

I'm glad you got so many years with him!  You have already gone through so much, and it's nearly 1 1/2 years since you started, but actually it began three years earlier with anticipatory death upon diagnosis.  My hope is you will feel comfort here in knowing there are others that get it and understand, a place to read and express yourself.  My heart goes out to you.

Grief Process

This is not a one-size-fits-all, what strikes us one day will be different a few months/years from now, so please save/print this for reference!

I want to share an article I wrote of the things I've found helpful over the years, in the hopes something will be of help to you either now or on down the road.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

• Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of its own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
• Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
• Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
• Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 or www.crisis textline.org or US and Canada: text 741741 UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808
• Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
• Try not to isolate too much.  
• There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
• Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
• Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
• In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
• Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
• Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
• Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
• Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
• Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
• Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
• Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs)))  Praying for you today.

 

[BritAbroad6]

Thank you KayC, I find it helps to write down what I can't discuss in person.

[DWS]

1 hour ago, BritAbroad6 said:

Thank you KayC, I find it helps to write down what I can't discuss in person.

It's the expression from your severely wounded, sad heart. Many of us here including myself have found that it does help...because nothing else really seems to most of the time.

I am so sorry for such a huge, vitally important loss in your life. I marvel at 55 years of togetherness that the two of you were able to achieve. Maybe in time, you will want to share some of your happier times together with us. That sort of thing helps as well. I know that I love to talk about my partner and our life together with anyone who cares to listen. 

Warmest hugs.

[BritAbroad6]

Thank you DWS. Yes, there were many  happy times. Our lives were full of adventure, mainly due to our love of travel. My husband was a successful scientist and even did his PHD in Germany. His work meant we lived in Germany and Holland for a while. We travelled by landrover to Africa on 7 private expeditions, went to the far regions of Turkey.  I would travel with my husband on business as well, to the USA, Canada, Russia and most of Europe. I helped illustrate guide books,mainly to Africa, translated many books into English from German. We helped refugees settle in our village, life was full. Ex  laboratory beagles became our children, I even wrote a book about them. So yes, I have many happy memories, but it all came to an end with my husbands illness and death.

 

[Boggled]

3 hours ago, BritAbroad6 said:

He died the same evening, simply stopped breathing. It was evening, a change of shift for the staff.I stayed some time with my husband and finally decided to leave. There was nobody in sight, even the nurses room was empty. Two candles burned in the window of their office, someone else had also died that night. I somehow found my way out of the area and to the main entrance for the last time. I got in a taxi and felt numb.

The empty halls in the hospital, nobody in sight, stayed some time with my husband, you just decide to leave ... same thing for me.  I did have one nurse, though, who came and discussed her grief of four years for her husband;  I'm grateful for her!   Got home after driving very carefully without my husband for the first time ... to the dark empty house, I remember SCREAMING in our empty hallway:   NO!OOOOOOOOOOOO!OOOOOOOOO!

Interesting you say grief is not good for the kidneys??    I have "Lindsay's nails, which I never had before, supposedly a sign of kidney problem:

Half and half nail - Wikipedia

 

[BritAbroad6]

Yes Boggled, it was a sense of loneliness that I can't describe, you know what I mean. The hospital invited me back to a memorial service for all those who had died that year, I couldn't attend.It would have been too much to go back to that dismal place. Somehow if he had died in our local hospital, where they knew and respected him, then maybe things wouldnt have been so terrible. In Munich they only knew him as an unconscious being,I wanted to shout at them that he was a person.

[KayC]

They never know him as we did, I got mixed responses in the hospital when George died, they threw me off the ward but I cried out, "I'M HIS LITTLE ONE!" And to the nurse who closed the door on me and locked it...I told her "You wouldn't even know if I hadn't come and told you, you guys weren't paying any attention to the monitors!"  And they weren't.  I never saw him alive again.  Oh that I could have been WITH him when he died, let him know I'd be okay (even if I wouldn't, to ease his mind), consoled him as he went out of this world, but they took that from me.

But there was his one bedside nurse who was so sweet to him in the hospital, patting his hand, fluffing his pillow, she remembered me a year later, she was so caring.

[BritAbroad6]

KayC, how terrible that they didnt let you stay with him. In Munich they didnt know my husband,I so wished he had been taken to our local hospital, but I had no say.

[KayC]

I get the having no say part.

[P777]

7 hours ago, BritAbroad6 said:

Thank you for allowing me to join. In December 2019 my husband was diagnosed with cancer. He was operated on in the April of 2020, just as Covid was causing chaos and misery. Shortly after the operation he suffered a cardiac arrest and was not expected to survive. Despite Covid  restrictions,  I was allowed to be at his bedside every day and insisted the doctors keep him alive, even though they were convinced he would be a mental cabbage if he came round.. He was in a coma for weeks, but finally came out of it and his brain recovered. Then the cancer spread and my husband also became a dialysis patient. Never once did he complain. Because of Covid we didn’t leave the house, apart from his trips to hospital for dialysis. I nursed him myself. On January the 1st last year, my husband collapsed in our lounge and was rushed to hospital. He never returned home. They discovered the cancer had spread to his brain. I visited him every day for two weeks. His twin brother joined me and was there when the doctors requested I give permission to stop dialysis- a death sentence. I refused  at first, even though I knew he would never wake up. The day I finally gave permission, he was moved to the Paliative ward, where they put a bed for me as well. I can't describe the horror that place gave me, even though the staff were kind and experts. I was there when he gave his last breath, but I shall never get rid of the feeling of despair and guilt. We were married for 55 years and alas had no children. We moved to Germany in 1968, where I still live. However, now I am alone. No children, my family and my late husband’s family, live in the UK. Most of our friends have also passed away. Grief has caused my health to deteriorate.

 I think part of the trouble is that feeling of being left behind to fight my problems on my own. I spent 3 years by my husband's side as he fought his health battles, he didn’t like it if I left the room for long. We lived for one another, isolated due to Covid. Now I am not only mourning my husband, but fighting my own health battles, alone.

It is little things that set me off, smelling seafood cooking, it reminds me of those wonderful holidays we had by the sea, which I shall never experience again.  My life is very restricted, as I have heart and kidney failure and shall soon start dialysis. It is true, grief is not good for the kidneys.

Nearly all our good friends have died or are sick. I have just one good friend left, but she lives 50 kilometres away. I have no children and the little family left live in the UK. I live in Germany and have never felt so alone. Losing one’s partner at any age is bad enough, but after 55 years of happy marriage, it is devastating.

One and a half years later, my grief seems to get worse rather than better. I started hallucinating and was sent to a neurologist, who in turn sent me to a Pyschotherapist. However, I can't talk to anyone about my husband’s lasts weeks, which will haunt me forever.

 I nursed my husband for 3 years. He fought cancer bravely and with optimism. It was during the Covid epedemc, so I didn’t call in any help. Then he collapsed on January 1st last year and was rushed to hospital. There they found the cancer had reached the brain. Thus followed a nightmare three weeks, in a large, old fashioned Munich hospital. I went daily by taxi the 35 kilometres, it was winter, cold and dark days,, I can't describe the feelings I went through, it was like a bad dream. My husband, with his forehead sewn from left to right, unconscious in intensive care. I'd sit for hours by his bed hoping he would come round. Then, when the ward closed for the night, I would struggle to reach the taxis, hardly able to breath myself. Empty corridors in the hospital, feeling alone. Then taxi drivers, strangers, driving me back home, fighting snow and ice on the roads. I would arrive home to an empty house. The doctors asked me several times to let my husband die. I couldn’t . He was on dialysis, all they had to do was stop dialysis. Finally they forced my consent. They moved him to the Paliative ward. I followed the doctor as he pushed my husband's bed. It seemed an endless journey to the ward, me having to stop every few yards to get my breath back. Again it didn’t seem real, was this some awful nightmare. We stopped outside a grey door, with a large 80 painted on it, this was to be his room. They put a bed in there for me as well, and left me with him. He died the same evening, simply stopped breathing. It was evening, a change of shift for the staff.I stayed some time with my husband and finally decided to leave. There was nobody in sight, even the nurses room was empty. Two candles burned in the window of their office, someone else had also died that night. I somehow found my way out of the area and to the main entrance for the last time. I got in a taxi and felt numb. The poor driver asked me what was wrong and I told him, my husband had just died. We drove in silence the rest of the way. He saw me to the door, as it was dark. I entered my house. I was alone in the world.

 

 

I am sincerely sorry for your loss. 55 years of marriage is absolutely beautiful. You did everything you possibily could for your husband,. You are in the right place on this forum, the people are extremely supportive. You will see your husband again. He is in heaven now.

My Wife died suddenly and unexpectedly. We were together 19 years. Now I must try, like us all, to make some sort of life for the future. I have no doubt I will see her again...

[HisMunchkin]

5 hours ago, BritAbroad6 said:

Thank you DWS. Yes, there were many  happy times. Our lives were full of adventure, mainly due to our love of travel. My husband was a successful scientist and even did his PHD in Germany. His work meant we lived in Germany and Holland for a while. We travelled by landrover to Africa on 7 private expeditions, went to the far regions of Turkey.  I would travel with my husband on business as well, to the USA, Canada, Russia and most of Europe. I helped illustrate guide books,mainly to Africa, translated many books into English from German. We helped refugees settle in our village, life was full. Ex  laboratory beagles became our children, I even wrote a book about them. So yes, I have many happy memories, but it all came to an end with my husbands illness and death.

 

Wow!  What an exciting life!  Are you a writer?  Your autobiography would be most interesting. 

I am so sorry for your loss, for what you had to go through, and for what you're going through now.  I hope you'll stay and talk to us.  Share whatever you feel like sharing.  You are not alone! 💝

[BritAbroad6]

Thank you P777 and hisMunchkin. HisMunchkin, I suppose I was a writer for a while, mainly as a hobby and then  did translations for a publishing company.  When our travelling companions brought out guide books on Africa, I helped them and took photos to illustrate the books.  I wrote a book about our rescue  beagles. Yes, we led quite  exciting lives, the memories of which can't be taken away. I can't look at the films made of our travels yet, or think too hard about those times. 

[KayC]

It's been 19 years  and I still can't listen to "our music."  I rarely get out pictures although I could never part with them.

[BritAbroad6]

I had my husbands favourite music played at his funeral, including 'Time to say goodbye'. I shall never be able to listen to them again without crying.

[HisMunchkin]

22 hours ago, BritAbroad6 said:

I can't look at the films made of our travels yet, or think too hard about those times. 

I can empathize with that.  I have avoided certain things that are bold reminders of my husband.  There are enough that remind me of him (which reminds me that he is gone) already.  A little exposure at a time is all I can handle.  Adaptation takes time.

Yesterday, Youtube recommended this video to me.  I have seen it before - watched it with my husband.  We could not stop laughing.  I watched it again yesterday - it's still funny (even though we also kind of felt bad for the raccoon), but it also reminded me of him and his reactions to the video and there is silence now, instead of laughter, etc.  So I laughed a little, then cried a little, and mourned a little.

Here is the video.  Hope it'll put a little smile on everyone's faces.  It is quite amusing/embarrassing.

 

[P777]

9 minutes ago, HisMunchkin said:

I can empathize with that.  I have avoided certain things that are bold reminders of my husband.  There are enough that remind me of him (which reminds me that he is gone) already.  A little exposure at a time is all I can handle.  Adaptation takes time.

Yesterday, Youtube recommended this video to me.  I have seen it before - watched it with my husband.  We could not stop laughing.  I watched it again yesterday - it's still funny (even though we also kind of felt bad for the raccoon), but it also reminded me of him and his reactions to the video and there is silence now, instead of laughter, etc.  So I laughed a little, then cried a little, and mourned a little.

Here is the video.  Hope it'll put a little smile on everyone's faces.  It is quite amusing/embarrassing.

 

Thats hilarious. I think there was a cartoon years ago "The Racoons"! 😀

[P777]

22 hours ago, BritAbroad6 said:

I had my husbands favourite music played at his funeral, including 'Time to say goodbye'. I shall never be able to listen to them again without crying.

Same here, favourite music was played at my Wifes funeral. My suit jacket was completely wet from my tears.  Impossible at the moment to listen to certain music or groups. I havent watched any Tv, except kids tv, since before she passed.

22 hours ago, KayC said:

It's been 19 years  and I still can't listen to "our music."  I rarely get out pictures although I could never part with them.

I know even now this will be me in 19 years time. Its just too powerful on the emotions.

[Bob1948]

Today I attended my granddaughter high school graduation. Shed some tears out of pride but mostly because my wife was my granddaughters support when life became difficult for her. She would have been bursting with pride that she had accomplished this milestone in her life.

[widower2]

On 6/8/2024 at 5:33 AM, BritAbroad6 said:

Thank you for allowing me to join. In December 2019 my husband was diagnosed with cancer. He was operated on in the April of 2020, just as Covid was causing chaos and misery. Shortly after the operation he suffered a cardiac arrest and was not expected to survive. Despite Covid  restrictions,  I was allowed to be at his bedside every day and insisted the doctors keep him alive, even though they were convinced he would be a mental cabbage if he came round.. He was in a coma for weeks, but finally came out of it and his brain recovered. Then the cancer spread and my husband also became a dialysis patient. Never once did he complain. Because of Covid we didn’t leave the house, apart from his trips to hospital for dialysis. I nursed him myself. On January the 1st last year, my husband collapsed in our lounge and was rushed to hospital. He never returned home. They discovered the cancer had spread to his brain. I visited him every day for two weeks. His twin brother joined me and was there when the doctors requested I give permission to stop dialysis- a death sentence. I refused  at first, even though I knew he would never wake up. The day I finally gave permission, he was moved to the Paliative ward, where they put a bed for me as well. I can't describe the horror that place gave me, even though the staff were kind and experts. I was there when he gave his last breath, but I shall never get rid of the feeling of despair and guilt. We were married for 55 years and alas had no children. We moved to Germany in 1968, where I still live. However, now I am alone. No children, my family and my late husband’s family, live in the UK. Most of our friends have also passed away. Grief has caused my health to deteriorate.

 I think part of the trouble is that feeling of being left behind to fight my problems on my own. I spent 3 years by my husband's side as he fought his health battles, he didn’t like it if I left the room for long. We lived for one another, isolated due to Covid. Now I am not only mourning my husband, but fighting my own health battles, alone.

It is little things that set me off, smelling seafood cooking, it reminds me of those wonderful holidays we had by the sea, which I shall never experience again.  My life is very restricted, as I have heart and kidney failure and shall soon start dialysis. It is true, grief is not good for the kidneys.

Nearly all our good friends have died or are sick. I have just one good friend left, but she lives 50 kilometres away. I have no children and the little family left live in the UK. I live in Germany and have never felt so alone. Losing one’s partner at any age is bad enough, but after 55 years of happy marriage, it is devastating.

One and a half years later, my grief seems to get worse rather than better. I started hallucinating and was sent to a neurologist, who in turn sent me to a Pyschotherapist. However, I can't talk to anyone about my husband’s lasts weeks, which will haunt me forever.

 I nursed my husband for 3 years. He fought cancer bravely and with optimism. It was during the Covid epedemc, so I didn’t call in any help. Then he collapsed on January 1st last year and was rushed to hospital. There they found the cancer had reached the brain. Thus followed a nightmare three weeks, in a large, old fashioned Munich hospital. I went daily by taxi the 35 kilometres, it was winter, cold and dark days,, I can't describe the feelings I went through, it was like a bad dream. My husband, with his forehead sewn from left to right, unconscious in intensive care. I'd sit for hours by his bed hoping he would come round. Then, when the ward closed for the night, I would struggle to reach the taxis, hardly able to breath myself. Empty corridors in the hospital, feeling alone. Then taxi drivers, strangers, driving me back home, fighting snow and ice on the roads. I would arrive home to an empty house. The doctors asked me several times to let my husband die. I couldn’t . He was on dialysis, all they had to do was stop dialysis. Finally they forced my consent. They moved him to the Paliative ward. I followed the doctor as he pushed my husband's bed. It seemed an endless journey to the ward, me having to stop every few yards to get my breath back. Again it didn’t seem real, was this some awful nightmare. We stopped outside a grey door, with a large 80 painted on it, this was to be his room. They put a bed in there for me as well, and left me with him. He died the same evening, simply stopped breathing. It was evening, a change of shift for the staff.I stayed some time with my husband and finally decided to leave. There was nobody in sight, even the nurses room was empty. Two candles burned in the window of their office, someone else had also died that night. I somehow found my way out of the area and to the main entrance for the last time. I got in a taxi and felt numb. The poor driver asked me what was wrong and I told him, my husband had just died. We drove in silence the rest of the way. He saw me to the door, as it was dark. I entered my house. I was alone in the world.

I'm so sorry. Over time we usually learn to deal with that agonizing loss and the days that follow as best we can, but it's still burned in our memories. And while the sharpness of that loss may soften somewhat over time, it never goes away. How can it? 

(PS: I have never been to Bavaria, but was at Ramstein on business for 3 months years ago. Lovely country and such friendly people.)

[KayC]

On 6/9/2024 at 11:22 AM, HisMunchkin said:

Here is the video.  Hope it'll put a little smile on everyone's faces.  It is quite amusing/embarrassing.

 

Thank you for sharing this, it made my day!

12 hours ago, Bob1948 said:

Today I attended my granddaughter high school graduation. Shed some tears out of pride but mostly because my wife was my granddaughters support when life became difficult for her. She would have been bursting with pride that she had accomplished this milestone in her life.

I'm so glad, such a good memory to make.

[Bou]

On 6/8/2024 at 7:13 AM, BritAbroad6 said:

Thank you KayC, I find it helps to write down what I can't discuss in person.

yes it does help.  I come here.  People here get it.  I was not allowed to be with my husband because of Covid.  When he was practically gone they let the whole family in.  Then the floor got into trouble for even doing that.  I try not to be......but I am still mad over that.  Now its like covid never existed.   I miss him so much! Trying to figure life with out him is not easy at all.  

[BritAbroad6]

That must have been unbearable for you. I was allowed to be by my husbands side from day one. It was against the law at the time, but the hospital chief took the law into his own hands and got me a special pass. I was tested every day for covid and didnt go near shops or people. I live in a village in the countryside and my husband was operated in a local hospital. Things were very different when he was moved to Munich, there I had no control over his treatment but fortuately by then restrictions had been lifted as far as visiting was concerned. It was a unique time in the World, covid adding to the misery for many people. I also  can't see a future without my husband, so know how you feel.

 

[Bou]

On 6/18/2024 at 2:00 PM, BritAbroad6 said:

That must have been unbearable for you. I was allowed to be by my husbands side from day one. It was against the law at the time, but the hospital chief took the law into his own hands and got me a special pass. I was tested every day for covid and didnt go near shops or people. I live in a village in the countryside and my husband was operated in a local hospital. Things were very different when he was moved to Munich, there I had no control over his treatment but fortuately by then restrictions had been lifted as far as visiting was concerned. It was a unique time in the World, covid adding to the misery for many people. I also  can't see a future without my husband, so know how you feel.

 

It was unbearable.  I sent him to the hospital to get better not to never come home.  If I put a lot of thought in it which I often do it eats me up inside.  Never did I ever think my life would flip so fast as it did.  

Someone here said time is going to move no matter if we want it or not.  It is just going to happen.  The future is going to happen and we can't stop it.  Take baby steps to make your life as much as you can.  We are only here for a short while.  Make the most of it.  Our significant others would have wanted that for us.  They wouldn't want us to live in misery.  There is a whole new world of excitement to be found.  Don't stay stuck.  Don't forget the good awesome times but move forward.  Remind me of this when I am having a bad day or set back.  Its ok to be ok.