The loss of an 18 month old cat is devastating me...

[JRics01]

In January of 2024, I said goodbye to my 20 year old feline friend, Cody to stomach cancer, and he was laid to rest peacefully after palliative care. The loss was horrible, my heart was broken, but I also found comfort in him having a long and full life with me. Even though the loss and grief was taxing, I still felt a sense of peace and still do, to this day. 

Suddenly though, last week, I lost my 2nd companion (Dylan) - only this time - he was only 18 months old. He had a urinary tract block and would have been in insufferable pain and his quality of life would have been rough through the option of surgeries and potentially reoccurring issues and traumatic transportation to and from a hospital that could perform this risky surgery almost 50 miles away. 

I decided I couldn't put him through that, his life wasn't worth him suffering like that. That choice was the easy part, as I have had to lay my past companions to rest when I knew they deserved peace ... But there are two pieces of this grief that are overshadowing my day to day life currently, as it is still new.

Dylan was so young, I have never lost a human or a pet at such a young age. It can feel unbearable dealing with the feelings that he "should have" or maybe "could have" lived longer because he was so young and actually extremely healthy until this sudden turn of events. In the short time he was here, we had such a strong bond - we were together all the time and he was over abundant with love and cuddles. It's horrible to be here without him when I feel like I had so many more years to come.

The second piece is feeling like I've had 2 sweet angels taken from me in a matter of 4 months and it's giving me a sensation of immense loss x2!! It feels like I've been stripped down to bare bones. 

Needless to say, life seems so empty without my sweet Dylan. He was just too young, and it feels so unfair. He was with me through the grieving process of Cody, and now this grieving feels lonely and isolated without a furry companion. I was actually just planning on adopting a friend for Dylan, and now he's gone - leaving an empty house. 

I know I will adopt again, and I know it will take time to form new bonds, but this just hurts and is so raw. 

Dylan was a pure and sweet angel with a loving and giving heart. I'm so thankful for the time we spent together, but the hurt is strong too.

Thank you for reading ❤️

[KayC]

I do understand, I would feel the same...when my 25 1/2 year old Kitty was euthanized, it was her time, even though I'd always thought she'd live forever.  But 18 months old is very young, and it doesn't seem fair.

You can rest assured your kitty is at peace now...

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 19 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.