Losing my dad, my heart is broken, I HATE YOU CANCER

[rentwest]

I cryeveryday, in little spurts. Just buried my dad, I had less then two weeks withhim watching him die. I couldn't bear to say my dad is dying but he is sick.Silently thinking he will get better. Watching an independent man just getweaker and weaker. He wasn't a very good dad growing up for 1/2 my life but didwhat he could that last 1/2. He could only be what he knew and try to change.But at the end of the day, he is my only dadm he is not replaciable. Mates come and go, there will be someone to fillthe space but a dad to a daughter it's gone forever. I would give anything tohave one more day with him. I know there are so many stories that are far worsethen mine but the pain and emptiness is in the same realm. I know its fresh and it will take time to heal but the hurt is soo deep. The feeling is intense from trying to be strong for your dad when the doctor tells him with you in the office there isn't anything I can do for you. To the immediate death soon after. The little girl in me just wants her daddy back. I took it for granted he was always gong to be there. I am glad he didn't suffer too long but being selfish to want more time. I hate cancer, I hate it

If you love your parents and you know you will miss them, bring a video camera and start talking, ask him / her questions about their life, growing up, family, the best thing ever to him, anything. if I did I could now be watching these videos but I don't. I didn't, I thought about it 2 years ago but didn't. I will with my mom.

[imnotalwaysright]

I've had a couple of relatives pass from Cancer, although not close relatives. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's very hard. My Dad wasn't there for me half my life but near the end he kinda clung on to me. He didn't have cancer, he was a severe alcoholic. That's what killed him and I was with him the night he died. It's just an unreal thing to see a parent go. I expected it for the illness my Dad had, but even so, it doesn't make anything any easier. You will be ok, how are you now?