After the death of my ESA, I feel like I can't do anything right.

[Katie Gall]

A month ago, I lost my emotional support bunny, Dumpling. He was very young, and it happened very unexpectedly. Like, one day he was here, the next day he was gone. 

Ever since then, I've been a mess. I start sobbing unexpectedly, I'm so exhausted all the time, or sometimes I can't feel anything at all. And I don't want to do anything. Just lay in bed. But it's starting to take a toll on my life.

I've always gotten straight As my whole life, but now I can just barely force myself to go to class, let alone study. I failed a midterm. And it's not just school. I can't keep up with cleaning, or eating right or exercising. I feel like I can't do anything right.

I've never felt pain like this before. I've never cried this much before. I've never lost anyone that I cared about this much before, animal or human. And with my grades falling, I feel like a failure, which is only adding to the pain. Today my teacher told me I needed to be faster in lab and I damn near had a breakdown. Because I'm just barely holding on here and even that's not good enough. 

I just don't know what to do. I feel so stuck and hopeless. If anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it.

[KayC]

I am so sorry, I can't imagine going through this while in school.  I have a registered service dog and couldn't bear to lose him but I've lost 25 dogs and cats in my lifetime so I'm no stranger to grief.

You can rest assured your bunny is in peace.
 

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died over 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[sarahbumblebeemoth]

Losing a loved bun, is truly so hard - bunnies are misunderstood - I’ve loved and rescued for

50 years and each one is as important and family.  All my life, I must be owned by anything

four legs, fur and feathers.  You need to rescue something, and talk non-stop about your

fuzzie friend - you have something precious to love and therapy to get through the loss - I’ve

worked so hard to get through through the losses - they never leave you but looking after another helps.

Good luck, however and whatever you choose. Rainbow Bridge awaits us all x

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss.  The hardest thing in the world, and especially for your emotional support animal.

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers