I lost my older brother 3 weeks ago

[Kirithena]

I lost my older brother (26), my first semester at college. He was 8 years older than me but we had a good relationship, at least better than we were kids. I haven’t seen him in about 5 years due to his addiction to heroine and being in prison. He got out at the end of October this year. We got to call and talk about him coming up for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I was so excited to see him after so long. I wanted to show him the person I had become even though we talked about it over the phone. It was right before break started when I heard the news. I feel like a piece of me is gone, but I also feel like I never truly knew him like my other older siblings did. I almost feel like I don’t have the right to grieve because I was never aware of a lot of family problems until later in life. I come from a blended family with 5 siblings consisting of, 2 older brothers, 2 older sisters and 1 younger sister. All of my older siblings are half, the younger I share parents with. He was the only older sibling I shared mom with. So for her to lose her first child from her original marriage and only have children from a husband that was terrible is heartbreaking. As well my mom had him when she was 17. I love my mom so much and she is an amazing woman, but I don’t know how to help her because I know she’s still in so much pain. She’s trying to be strong for everyone but I can see it. I hate to see her like this, what do I do?