What is Normal

[Dillan's mom]

I lost my 17 year old son almost a month ago. Some days I miss him so much it hurts and the empty feeling I have is overwhelming. Other days I try to convince myself that it is not true. I can not look at his pictures, go in his room and I have had his truck put some place that I can not see it. Its like if I can pretend it did not happen and convince my mind that it is not real I can cope. Am I crazy? He was my whole world. I do not know how to go on without him. I have people telling me that I have to find a new normal, I can not imagine life being normal again. I can not get the images of his accident out of my mind. I know I am rambling and I apologize but that is all I seem to do latley. Can anyone tell me if I am reacting in a normal way? I feel so lost.

[shellyku]

Dillan's Mom - I am so very sorry to hear that you lost your 17 year old son. It is the most

unnatural, life-altering thing that can happen to a parent. I believe you are feeling and

acting normally in this situation, one that is anything but normal. But I am afraid that

hiding his truck and the like will not really help you. It is a very hard truth to face and it

will take a long time to walk this grief journey, but there are people here who have been

doing it for years, and some a bit newer to the grief. My 29 year old daughter died from

leukemia almost 2 years ago, and I can say that it has softened somewhat, but it still

really hurts. Please post at the Loss of an Adult Child thread of this website. You will

be welcomed by kind, compassionate people who are going through this as well.

It does help to chat with these fine folks...they understand. My prayers to you.

[vivkib]

Dillan's Mom, I'm so sorry for the loss of you son. I lost my 28yr old son Kevin 8 months ago. Everything you are going through is so normal, you are FAR from crazy, or maybe we are all crazy and just don't know it? I feel this way on a regular bases. Once we loose a child, I don't think "normal" applies any more. Our world has turned upside down and how do you turn it back? I still haven't found my "new normal" yet. I exist and go on the best I can. I'm not sure we can find our new normal, I think we just fall into it somehow. I do know the pain gets a little softer and the memories don't hurt quite as much. I still have my bad days but there are some good days in the mix. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to feel what you are ready for and in time you will be able to look at his pictures, go into his room, and smile through your tears when you think of him. Come back here and post anytime you want to, we're here for you and completely understand. Post in the threat "Loss of an Adult Child". There is more activity there. Hugs and Prayers. Kevin's Mom-Vivian