missing her

[cruise]

It's been a little over 5 months since gloria passed away and the pain seems to be going away a little at a time. I seem to feel better and then all the memories come flooding back. Lately I seem to remember little things that I forgot or we did together. Its hard to do every day things without remembering how we did things together like shopping and talking about her daughters life in school as she studies to be a nurse. Just having gloria meet me downstairs to take her somewhere to do errands and taking her to the store and dropping her off are all memories that I think about when I'm driving or coming home from work. She was a kind and loving mother that did everything she could to help her daughter and they talked almost every day. She had a beautifull smile and greeted me at the door every night I came home from work. We always loved to listen to music as we drove around and she loved aerosmith and reo speedwagon. We always went out driving to find something to eat but she never new what she wanted until we passed a fast food resturant. When we were at home she could cook up the most amazing dinners and throw something together without hardly anything in the fridge. Since she has passed I miss her cooking and I don't eat near as good as I use to. She use to tell me to shop for the best prices and buy off the wall named canned goods which she said were just as good as the brand named stuff. I haven't moved her clothing from the closet yet. I was looking the other day and found some christmas gifts she had recieved from her daughter and I started to loose it. I had to stop and put the stuff away until another time. I have hung chimes that she made all over the apartment and ring them when I pass under them and they remind me of her. You never expect a lover or roomate to pass away until it happens. We all think we will live forever until it unexpectedly hits home that your mate or loved one is gone. It's like they are swept away and you never know weather they will return to you. It will be hard dealing without her in my life but over time the pain will slowly go away and i'll find another girlfriend. Just writing on this site seems to help the heeling process and gets me by. Thanks everybody for your support and being there for me.

[ModKonnie]

Lane,

Your post was so inspiration because while you are hurting for sure, you sound like you are trying to be positive. It is so difficult to keep going at times, but we do, and we will. Your canned good story made me smile. I can just picture it.

I am sure others smiled, too. That certainly helps us all. Thank-you for sharing.

ModKonnie

[sdoucet]

I am sure she hears the music each time you touch those chimes. You have a great outlook and we are all in the same place. It is difficult still to get through a day without tears. Not uncontrollable tears but tears. I miss my husband and I think about him every day, at certain points. Most of the time thinking about him now, makes me smile. I do cry, but crying helps. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

It's been a little over 5 months since gloria passed away and the pain seems to be going away a little at a time. I seem to feel better and then all the memories come flooding back. Lately I seem to remember little things that I forgot or we did together. Its hard to do every day things without remembering how we did things together like shopping and talking about her daughters life in school as she studies to be a nurse. Just having gloria meet me downstairs to take her somewhere to do errands and taking her to the store and dropping her off are all memories that I think about when I'm driving or coming home from work. She was a kind and loving mother that did everything she could to help her daughter and they talked almost every day. She had a beautifull smile and greeted me at the door every night I came home from work. We always loved to listen to music as we drove around and she loved aerosmith and reo speedwagon. We always went out driving to find something to eat but she never new what she wanted until we passed a fast food resturant. When we were at home she could cook up the most amazing dinners and throw something together without hardly anything in the fridge. Since she has passed I miss her cooking and I don't eat near as good as I use to. She use to tell me to shop for the best prices and buy off the wall named canned goods which she said were just as good as the brand named stuff. I haven't moved her clothing from the closet yet. I was looking the other day and found some christmas gifts she had recieved from her daughter and I started to loose it. I had to stop and put the stuff away until another time. I have hung chimes that she made all over the apartment and ring them when I pass under them and they remind me of her. You never expect a lover or roomate to pass away until it happens. We all think we will live forever until it unexpectedly hits home that your mate or loved one is gone. It's like they are swept away and you never know weather they will return to you. It will be hard dealing without her in my life but over time the pain will slowly go away and i'll find another girlfriend. Just writing on this site seems to help the heeling process and gets me by. Thanks everybody for your support and being there for me.

[Atenderheart]

Lane, I can relate to you in so many ways. The love of my life passed away just 3 months ago. Some days seem a little easier than others. I still have not been able to go through his things. Like you I've tried but couldn't do it. I just don't know how to go on without him. I never thought I'd find a man that I could love and him love me with all our hearts after my divorce. But I did and then it was all taken away from me. So lost without him.

[David1111]

It's been a little over 5 months since gloria passed away and the pain seems to be going away a little at a time. I seem to feel better and then all the memories come flooding back. Lately I seem to remember little things that I forgot or we did together. Its hard to do every day things without remembering how we did things together like shopping and talking about her daughters life in school as she studies to be a nurse. Just having gloria meet me downstairs to take her somewhere to do errands and taking her to the store and dropping her off are all memories that I think about when I'm driving or coming home from work. She was a kind and loving mother that did everything she could to help her daughter and they talked almost every day. She had a beautifull smile and greeted me at the door every night I came home from work. We always loved to listen to music as we drove around and she loved aerosmith and reo speedwagon. We always went out driving to find something to eat but she never new what she wanted until we passed a fast food resturant. When we were at home she could cook up the most amazing dinners and throw something together without hardly anything in the fridge. Since she has passed I miss her cooking and I don't eat near as good as I use to. She use to tell me to shop for the best prices and buy off the wall named canned goods which she said were just as good as the brand named stuff. I haven't moved her clothing from the closet yet. I was looking the other day and found some christmas gifts she had recieved from her daughter and I started to loose it. I had to stop and put the stuff away until another time. I have hung chimes that she made all over the apartment and ring them when I pass under them and they remind me of her. You never expect a lover or roomate to pass away until it happens. We all think we will live forever until it unexpectedly hits home that your mate or loved one is gone. It's like they are swept away and you never know weather they will return to you. It will be hard dealing without her in my life but over time the pain will slowly go away and i'll find another girlfriend. Just writing on this site seems to help the heeling process and gets me by. Thanks everybody for your support and being there for me.

I feel all of your pain,everyone of you out here! We all are going through the same hallway together.

This is my first time with Death so close,and i don"t like it,and i want her home,and i wish i had done things differently,wish i could turn back time,however i do know that there is nothing,nothing i can do! and it is one of the most isolating,lonely ,desperate feelings that one could ever know.When you loose a piece of yourself ,you are never the same.

My wife died only weeks ago,the cold sting,a fresh wound,i came out of shock only nine days ago and to say i ache is an understatement.I now truly know the meaning of heart ache

I am now questing all of my beliefs,searching for answers in Buddhist philosophy,Tibetan book of the dead,NDE reports,Quantum Physics re:Death,spiritual beliefs etc etc ,it as though i have set out on a mission to piece together her death,find where she went,where she may be now,?Bring peace to myself that i may someday touch her again.This grieving experience is pure hell,and no one satnding outside has any clue what any of us feel when we loose the other half of our hearts.

[David1111]

Lane, I can relate to you in so many ways. The love of my life passed away just 3 months ago. Some days seem a little easier than others. I still have not been able to go through his things. Like you I've tried but couldn't do it. I just don't know how to go on without him. I never thought I'd find a man that I could love and him love me with all our hearts after my divorce. But I did and then it was all taken away from me. So lost without him.

I am deeply sorry,and i do know your pain,blessings to you.