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Brother & sister


keysl300

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My older sister died at the age of 21 on July 28th 2009. My brother died July 25th 2011, almost 2 years to the day.

I know the feeling of my sister's death and grieving. I never really got use to not having her. She was really my best friend in the world. After her passing, my brother and I got so much closer. I am the baby of my family. We also have another older brother who thankfully is still here. My parents are divorced. Now alone in their own grief. Everything about my loved ones deaths hurt. I never really have time to deal with my own grief. I don't want people to worry about me. I don't know why. My heart hurts all day every day. I force myself to finish my BA degree. I'm finally getting the grades I need to continue on to my Master's in a year.

I don't know how the forum works. I want to try to somehow let myself heal. Where to start, I don't know. I guess I don't want to heal. But I do. I just don't want to lose them entirely. If I move on, I feel like I might. I don't want to forget them, ever. I made my mom a mother's day present and spelled my sister's name wrong. I hated it.

I guess if people have something to say about this, go for it. I could use it, probably.

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I am so saddened by your losses. I lost my older brother last month. I know I am new to grieving process, but one thing that has helped me is to allow myself to go through what I call "organic" grieving. I have given myself permission to feel whatever it is that I am feeling naturally. If I want to cry, I cry. If I am angry, I don't beat myself up over being short and snippy. I also remove myself from any situation where I may take it out on someone else I love. Some days, I have even felt like I am not feeling enough, but I have allowed myself to accept those times as times that I need a break from grief. My parents are divorced and struggling with their intense grief as well. I am sad to hear that you are concerned you would ever forget either of your siblings. I don't think that is possible. You have memories of them that you will carry for the rest of your life, and those memories are far more important and valuable than the spelling of your sister's name. Try to be a little forgiving of yourself. This is such a difficult experience. It's a process, probably something that we will be going through in some capacity for the rest of our lives. Healing doesn't mean losing them completely, it means finding our new normal and continuing our journey of trying to build a full and joyful life. That is what our siblings would want for us.

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i just lost my sister on the 15th.. i dont even know what to do or think right now.. all i know is that you unfortunitlly know how i feel .

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the 15th ,.. as in .. 3 days ago.

Oh Anna777 I am so sorry for your loss of your sister. I have 4 daughters and my second daughter Cherry Lynn died of a heroin overdose on 10/14/11. Her sisters are devastated and we do not know what to do with the pain, sorrow and grief. It is like a heavy weight that crushes you and makes it hard to breathe. I pray that God will comfort you and that you will know peace. I do know that there are people on this website who understand what you are feeling and experiencing. I thought I was insane, and was suicidal. If not for the people here, who knows what may of become of me. Please stay on here and post your feelings and thoughts. A lot of us post on "Loss of a child" forum under "Loss of adult child". Please come to that forum and you will be met with arms wide open and understanding. Grief will take you for a ride you do not want to be on. You will feel; denial, anger, sorrow, desperation, painful grief, sorrow, and somehow joy sometimes at special memories you share with your sister. You will smile again, it will warm your heart when those moments come.

I will be praying for you. My daughter's birthday is 7/7 so sevens are her numbers, like yours.

Hugs and prayers,

-Ronnie

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I am new to this but I know ignoring the pain doesn't make it go away it makes it build up and up and up you need to find some way of letting it out xxxx

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