Confused Grieving

[EllieS]

I lost my grandfather to pancreatic/liver cancer on Feb 20, 2023. He was the only consistent father figure I’ve had my entire life (late 30s/F) and my MIL, who I was very close to on March 20, 2023 to the same disease(s). Luckily, the only other loss I’ve experienced was my grandmother in Jan 2020, pre covid. Having these two loses back to back  hurts so much. However, watching my husband of 10 years is killing me. He’s the only child and heir. He is responsible for everything in her estate, thankfully she was able to add him to most accounts before passing. She was only 70 and it was less than 2 months from diagnosis to death. Since he has so many things to do, he’s not letting himself feel as much as I am. I didn’t let myself start grieving until the beginning of May because I was finishing my Master’s program, now it’s hitting me every day. Tears every day. 

[Traz]

Hi EllieS,

I'm very sorry to hear about your grandfather and MIL. Those are two losses so close together and that's a lot to cope with. Add to that the stress of a Master's Degree program and worrying about your husband. 

I feel for him as the only child and heir, to sort through his mother's estate. It's very hard on you because you're so busy with the business side of death that it interferes with grieving. 

Maybe you could both do something together to honor your MIL and grandfather when the time is right? Just letting your partner know he's not alone in his grief may be helpful too. He will grieve in his own way when he is ready. 

I hope you both find the support you need and can lean on each other during those tough moments. 

Peace to you both xo

Traz