Members lacrimosa Posted May 7, 2012 Members Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 I lost my grandfather when I was nine years old. In July, 2002. And I still, to this day cannot handle this loss properly. Every year, in July, and especially on the fifth, the day he died, I cannot handle things. The fifth is the worst I can't function properly, I stay in bed and cry. Last year I had to be strong, because I was helping some family friends, but even with that, I could barely handle myself. And the second I was able to break down I did and it lasted about a week. He was my dad. My dad left me when I was younger, and I just... I miss my Pop. He was true dad. My biological dad walked out on us, but my grandparents were always in my life, and my Pop was always there for me. I miss him dearly. I feel like I don't grieve correctly. I can't let go of things. Recently, on March 22nd, my friend Miko died. I had never met her in real life. We'd met online, and become friends. We'd been friends for 6 years and planning on meeting up this summer when she was on summer break from College. She'd been my best friend. She'd helped me deal with the sexual abuse I'd endured in my life, and I'd helped her deal with her parent's divorce, her own medical problems and the mental ramifications of that. She'd been having strokes for months, maybe even years due to her medical problem. And since she was in college and had always had headaches due her medical problems, the signs went unnoticed, and about two weeks before she died she had a big one that triggered seizure activity... She laid down for a nap, and never woke back up. I recently found religion, I'm an SGI Buddhist, and I have found solace in that. Miko also practiced and I find it beautiful and wonderful. I just can't behave like I do with my grandfather with her. I need to get over both deaths. And my birthday will be the two month anniversary of her death. And her birthday, her would've been 20th, will be a few days before my birthday. Her FB will update with it. I'm just scared. I need help. Anyone? ideas? Tips? Help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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