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Lost in it all


pip22

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This is my first post and I don't really know where to start so apologies if it's feels all over the place.

It been over a year now since I lost my Dad but I feel that everything has been slipping away from me in the last few weeks I don't know what to do.

It has been the hardest time for my family as it was so out of the blue and followed only months after our first family holiday. He was a few years into his retirement from the air force and both my Mum and Dad where just starting to enjoy life so it's hit her hard as they both gave up so much and worked so hard to keep myself, my sister and my brother in a safe comfortable home.

I keep playing over the night I got the phone call in my head and it all gets too much too think about that I just want to shut myself away from the world and try and clear my head. I keep a diary of sorts in the form of writing letters to my Dad but expressing what's going through my head this way doesn't seem to alleviate the loss i feel and given the time that has passed since I seem to be feeling more and more under the weather. I have recently visited my doctor and been given a course of anti-depressants to try and improve my mood as it has become increasingly difficult on my girlfriend.

I don't know where I can go or what I can do to help this mess that is slowly becoming my life. I can't go to my family as my Mum still finds it hard and I don't want to add to her worry.

Is what I'm going through normal? and will it get any better? I feel like I can't go on much longer and wanting to try and straighten my head out is only getting me more and more frustrated.

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Daffodilfun

What you are going through is very normal. The loss, the sense of direction are all things that you are going through and will go through in the future. It will just become easier. Having the night your dad died going through your head is something I do everyday over and over and over. I lost my mom 2 months ago and their isn't a day that I don't think about the day she died and the days before she died. But it does get easier.

Is there a support group at a church or at a hospital that you can join? I know it has helped me very much.

Keep writing. We care.

Sally

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Thankyou Sally, I'm no sure about support nearby, not something I've looked into yet but I guess if it does help I should have a look about.

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