Members Sher Posted April 26, 2012 Members Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 I never wanted to join a forum like this but am thankful that it is here. Back in 2007 my dad made it to his 90th birthday and then started fading away. He died on December 20, and I'm still not over that. I then met a guy who I clicked with when I was up north, and ended up bringing him down to Florida with me where we had a pretty happy life together. Except for one thing. He was an alcoholic and could not stop drinking the poison. It was no fun when he was like that but the days he didn't drink were great! He helped me take care of the house and we did everything and went everywhere together. The last thing we did was plan a trip to Panama, but now that won't be happening. He took his last drink in January when I rushed him to the hospital because he was bringing up blood. The doctor mended the acites and varices and let him come home. Things were looking good again but a few weeks later in spite of all the meds he was taking, his ammonia levels shot way up and it was another 2 week hospital stay. We talked to the liver doctor. I offered to give him part of mine as a donor but the doctor looked at me like I was nuts and said he is not eligible for the transplant list because he would never survive the surgeryA few more days went by and again his ammonia levels went way up again and it was another stay in the hospital. But this time he didn't come back home. Now this is his 3rd week in the hospice an he is now fading away. Last night he woke up all agitated and wanted to go home. I said no we couldn't do that for a few days. Now I sit here tonight and his eyes are slightly open and he is either asleep or in a coma. I don't think he has much time left now. I told him everything I had to say and apologized for ever hurting him but we did have more good times than bad times. And now I see him sleeping there not even moving and it is just ripping my heart outlThere is only one way I can even cope with any of this without losing my mind and that is to think of the bad times because it makes me angry that he couldn't stop drinking, or that there is still no help to get someone to stop unless you are a billionaire (which I am not). The doctor in the hospital told us that this is the end of the road for him because his liver is gone. It's a horrible way to go because it doesn't take you quickly. When the ammonia hits your brain it confuses you and that's got to be terribly frustrating. I can't stand watching this and hurt so bad for him because he had a big heart and would do anything for you. Why don't they make alcohol a controlled substance, that and cigarettes? They sure do kill enough people and cause enough heartache. When this thing is over with, I will be one hardcore woman. Because it is just tearing me to pieces now. I can't even imagine what a normal life must feel like. But at least I'm stuck in Florida, I guess there could be worse places to be stuck in. He loved it too. Even my fierce pitbull has been moping around, knowing daddy isn't going to be coming home. It's like she and I just cry and cry together. I hope I can pull myself together after all this. It's like I don't want anymore friends because it's too hard to lose them. I didn't even want a dog, but now I have a protector since daddy's about gone. I don't have the money for counseling, but I'm telling you, I could sure use some now. I am slowly losing my strength to go through anymore. I feel like throwing in the white towel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.