I'm totally lost

[alank527]

My wife and I were together for 29 years, and on April 2 2012, she was taken from my daughter and I at the age of 53. I don't know what to do without her, like you, she was my best friend

and the rock of my family. I hope this gets a little easier, because this is pure misery. This has got to be the worst pain I have ever felt, such emptiness and despair. Her name was Marianne and I miss her tremendously.

[widower2]

alan I'm terribly sorry. This is so new, allow that this will take time and lots of it to deal with. Lean on whoever you can (family/friends) and be gentle to yourself as the days go on. It's a horribly choppy sea you're in, but believe it or not you can survive it.

[lonelydays]

Alan, I know how you feel. I am at total loss and do not know what to do with myself. I lost my husband of 32 years on 1/6/12. It was suddend and unexpected. I woke up to find him and have been stunned ever since. I go on because I know he would want me to but I do not know what to do day to day. What get me the most is that I have become so emotional and little things make me cry. My husband was the love of my live and best friend. I have 2 grown children that have been there for me but I worry because I do not know If I have been there they way I should be for them.

I like to dwell on the good memories and the long chats we had over the years. I speak to him when I need added support or strength. It seems to help me to think he is able to hear me where ever he may be.

Its been a few month and sleep is starting to come but not fully restful. Last week I actuall went through a whole day with out crying. I am looking forward to another day and I know it will come because I love for my husband and his memories. I do what I can to keep him memory alive and I make my daily decisions my asking myself what would my husband have for advise on this. After all the years we have been married I knew him well enough that we rearly had to speak to know what the other was thinking. Just a look in the eyes and we knew what was said. So I like to think I would know what he would be saying to me now.

grief is personal and it takes time. Dont hide your feeling this is the healing part of the healing. Each day it does get a little easier.

[justsomeguy]

Alan,

I cannot say I know how you feel. I suspect it is different for everyone. I lost my my wife a few days after your loss. My wife passed on April 6th. she left me 5 beautiful boys. She was 43. I have to agree. It is the worst pain ever. I feel like I am lucky to have little ones and my job to distract me. Night time sucks when you are all alone. No words of wisdom just emapathy.

Best of luck.

Bob