Members levans Posted April 19, 2012 Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2012 My baby brother died Feb. 24th 2012, i say it so many times Caleb is dead he is dead. why? he was only 21 he was getting his life together he was making better choices and then he had to get high one more time.... he passed out in the hot tub and drowned now he is gone forever.. I feel like i failed him that i failed my other brothers i am the oldest i was the one town i was to take care of him. I tried ... It wasn't good enough. i have 4 kids under the age of 10 my husbands stays home to take care of them i have to work but i hate going. my parents are divorce i had to tell my dad my baby brother is dead, i called the rest of the family i organized the funeral i comforted his friends the same friends that were with hours before he died doing the same drug and left him I comforted them. i took care of my mother i spoke at the funeral i thanked the people who came i wrote the thank you notes. I feel there is no time for me to be sad to cry to hide. my husband has had a family member or friend die every year we have been married some times 2 we have been married for 11 years. his attitude is just keep going theses things happen. NO theses things do not happen to me , to my family, to my brother ! I do every day i go to work i take care of the kids i check on my mom and dad and i do. but i just don't know how to be anymore. every day i feel the scream stuck in my chest trying to come out but nothing i am scared that if God could take Caleb then he could take my children anytime i wake up scared to find them dead. people say it gets better with time its been almost 2 months its only getting worst. i am 33 Caleb was only 21 i want to be around his friends just to feel his spirit more but i am really to old to be hanging out with 21 year olds . I just don't know how to be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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