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Important: if you know someone who has lost their partner


widower2

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Then do them a favor (unless they've indicated otherwise):

KEEP IN TOUCH. I can't stress this enough. It's hard enough as it is but the loneliness, that gaping hole, that is made from this unbelievable, and to have people you thought cared about you "abandon" you by not calling, visiting etc is a large dose of salt in the wound. If you really DO care about this person at least a little, don't do this. Thx.

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Don't mean to harp on this (well maybe I do) but I'd like to add/emphsize: keeping in touch doesn't mean a token email/phone call and going "call if you need anything."

Quite frankly that's weak and a lazy cop out. YOU call. Trust me, they need something. Like people showing that they care and that they are geniunely interested in how you're doing. And don't give me "I don't know what to say........." How about "I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and hoping you're holding up OK." This isn't rocket science.

Thanks.

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I so agree. I am being to feel like I have the plague.

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Thanks - sorry you're experiencing same, but it does help to know I'm not the only one, if you know what I mean. It's so odd though. Honestly, what the hell?

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grace17313

Wow, so I am not the only one!! I have quite a few of "call if you need anything"''s. Or how about "I haven't called because I don't want to bug you". REALLY? Oh wait, I finally get a text from a VERY good friend of mine (2wks after my spouses funeral) asking how I am doing. So I say "not good" because I wasn't at that specific moment. So she says "I told you to call if you needed me". WTH!! I just say she doesn't have any idea what I am going through because she has never lost anyone close to her.

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