What should a expect from grief

[flawed]

My grandfather died of cancer a little over 2 weeks ago. He was 79, and I'm nearly 30. The death was a bit unexpected. The cancer took him less then 2 weeks after they discovered the tumor in his back. I don't really care to discuss the specifics of his death AT THE MOMENT. What I would really like is to gain a better understanding of some the emotions I'm feeling. One of the more prevalent emotions present is anxiety. You could say that I'm a somewhat anxious person normally. My friend sometimes call me neurotic . Grief seems to have magnified my anxiousness. I've read that it's normal to feel anxiety ABOUT DEATH when grieving, but I'm experiencing it in a far more general way. Things that would normally only worry me for a few minutes are now dominating my thoughts for hours at a time. These things usually have nothing at all to do with my grandfather. Also, the anxiety is beginning to give way, at times to an intense sense of emotional pain. Memories of the past 2 weeks keep popping up, like my dad saying "We've all lost our hero" shortly after my grandfather died and my grandfather saying "Boy I was hungry" just after eating his last meal. Despair is probably the best way to describe the feeling the accompanies those thoughts. Although, sometimes it feels like it's actually thousands of different feelings all at once that I'll never unravel.

It hasn't all been bad though. I've been out with my friends a time or 2, and I've been nearly my old self with the exception of limiting my alcohol in take. I've never liked drinking, when I was upset. Jokes have also been a way of coping for me. Mostly, because my grandfather was a very funny man.

I guess I just want to know if I'm on the right track. I've read that the best way to grieve is to allow yourself to grieve. That's a comforting and scary thought. Are there warning signs that I'm grieving in an unhealthy manner? What should I look out for?

[ModKonnie]

Hi Zigg,

I am very sorry about your loss of your grandfather. Honestly, I am certainly not an expert authority, but from what I do know, your grieving seems to be perfectly normal. I like how you are limiting your alcohol intake. That is extremely smart. When your anxiety is high, your body is stressing, the last thing you need is alcohol to complicate things. Remember to drink plenty of water, and try your best to eat healthy and get sleep. Also limit your caffeine intake. When you are physically drained, it stresses your mental abilities.

Getting out, remember odd moments, being anxious are all okay to do. So is intense crying, anger, guilt, fear and loneliness. You may all of those emotions plus more over and over as you process this experience and move forward.

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie