My Stepdaughter is dying

[StephG0912]

In April of 2010, my 11 yr old stepdaughter was diagnosed with AML Leukemia. At the time she was given less than two months to live. She fought it and we helped her and she has lived for almost 2 yrs. In Feburary, she became ill we thought that it was just a virus because she's had them in the past and has been ok. When the doctor ran the tests he gave us the devastating news that she is no longer in remission.

We were supposed to be married that May and I postponed our wedding because she lives in another state and I made the decision that he needed to stay with her until we knew what was going to happen to her. Because she was in the hospital for over a year before she stablized, we don't have much money and he was in the middle of a nasty custody battle for her so I was unable to be around her. Now that she is no longer in remission, my husband is so angry and he is literally making himself sick to the point he may have to be hospitalized himself. Because I am not as emotionally involved in this as he is I have been able to see things from a more objective point of view. However, I am at a loss for words on how to comfort him. I have tried to tell him that things happen for a reason and that only God knows why. I let him yell, scream and cry and I support him 1000%. He feels like he is being punished for something and I have tried to tell him that is not the case. He told me that he hates God right now and I told him that he does not he is just very angry. My husband is a firefighter and an EMT and he feels completely helpless. It kills me to see him like this and not knowing what to say makes it even harder for me. I know that if it were one of my children I would be the exact same way he is. I would be very angry. What words of comfort can I say to him? I choose my words carefully when I do talk to him but I would really appreciate any input that can be given.

[shellyku]

Dear StephG - I am so sorry for the situation you are in with your stepdaughter. How awful it must be

for you to not know how to help your mate. And how devastating and sad for your stepdaughter. My heart

goes out to you as my 29 year old daughter died from ALL, and I know how this disease is a beast.

I don't really know what you can say to him except that you will support him in any way you can, and that

we don't know why these things happen but it not because of anything he or your stepdaughter did to

deserve it. I was mad at God at first too: how could He let this happen, why didn't He heal her, other

people have survived leukemia, on and on and on. There are no answers, at least not here, and I believe

when we get to heaven, the answers won't matter anymore. My prayers to you, your stepdaughter, and

your mate.

[StephG0912]

Dear ShellyKu - Thank you very much. I do support him and I have let him know this many times. Your encouragement means a lot to me.

Dear StephG - I am so sorry for the situation you are in with your stepdaughter. How awful it must be

for you to not know how to help your mate. And how devastating and sad for your stepdaughter. My heart

goes out to you as my 29 year old daughter died from ALL, and I know how this disease is a beast.

I don't really know what you can say to him except that you will support him in any way you can, and that

we don't know why these things happen but it not because of anything he or your stepdaughter did to

deserve it. I was mad at God at first too: how could He let this happen, why didn't He heal her, other

people have survived leukemia, on and on and on. There are no answers, at least not here, and I believe

when we get to heaven, the answers won't matter anymore. My prayers to you, your stepdaughter, and

your mate.