Jump to content

not sure why i'm here


tobyfreefoot

Recommended Posts

  • Members

my oldest son and his girlfriend died in a car accident july 3rd. i'm not sure why i'm on here. i don't even feel like talking about it now. i don't even want to write their names all of a sudden. like it is too public or something but no one else out there understands and i just need some company of other parents who are heartbroken so i don't feel so alone. i will try this again later i guess. thanks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

my oldest son and his girlfriend died in a car accident july 3rd. i'm not sure why i'm on here. i don't even feel like talking about it now. i don't even want to write their names all of a sudden. like it is too public or something but no one else out there understands and i just need some company of other parents who are heartbroken so i don't feel so alone. i will try this again later i guess. thanks

Hi Toby, I am so very sorry for your loss. There is absolutely no pressure to talk about things if you are not feeling up to it. We completely understand. Come and read what others have said if you are able... and when or if you are ready... you will always be welcome to join us.

Kate

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi Toby, I am so very sorry for your loss. There is absolutely no pressure to talk about things if you are not feeling up to it. We completely understand. Come and read what others have said if you are able... and when or if you are ready... you will always be welcome to join us.

Kate

thanks so much. i felt a little foolish when i posted this. i think this will be helpful for me and i sent a note to the girl's dad hoping he might find some help here also.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

oh gretchen....i am so sorry for your loss.....this is the site to come to if you want to just read or if you feel like posting when you are ready. there is no judgement or criticism either way. all of us here understand the grief of losing a child. there is no right or wrong way to grieve. there are no time tables and this grief is yours alone. just understand, that we, here, will stand by you and hold you hand and hold your heart as close to ours as we possibly can.

i am just past 13 months and i can tell you the pain has not stopped. the ache in my heart is throbbing for the loss of my 32 y/o son. the wonderful people on this site have literally saved my life. there is more activity on the 'loss of an adult child' if you want to be apart of more posting and reading. we will welcome you with open arms. you will not be alone, i promise you that.

i am so sorry that you have to be here with us.....diane

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Gretchen ~ I am so sorry for the loss of your son and his girlfriend. This is where we, the parents who have lost our children, come to be. Our world as we once knew it has forever been changed. Our thoughts, feelings, beliefs have altered and in many ways we are lost in the world in which we once lived.

Here there is no expectation. The understanding is that you are not alone. Whether you need to read the posts, talk or not, express yourself in any way you will find this is the place.

It's true its a 'public' forum. But the 'family' of Indigos (that was the original name for the site) is a strong protective and supportive one.

My name is Trudi, my son Micheal died 5yrs ago. I came here when I found the outside world didn't 'get' who I had become. When I didn't know where else to talk about my son, his death and how that altered me.

I hope you are able one day to talk about your son. I always believe our children are so much more than that one fateful day.

Take Care of yourself ~ Trudi

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Gretchen, I am new on this journey also, 5 months since I lost my 28yrs old son Kevin. When I first came here I was so afraid of what people would say if they new how I lost my son, but what I found is exeptence not judgment that I found with others. Everyone here has lost someone special to them and the how or why doesn't matter. The time may come when you feel the need to talk and you have found a very safe place. The understanding from others on this heartbraking road is such a blessing. Post when and if you feel you can or just read, but know we're all here for you. Hugs and prayers to you and your family. Vivian-Kevin's Mom

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

my oldest son and his girlfriend died in a car accident july 3rd. i'm not sure why i'm on here. i don't even feel like talking about it now. i don't even want to write their names all of a sudden. like it is too public or something but no one else out there understands and i just need some company of other parents who are heartbroken so i don't feel so alone. i will try this again later i guess. thanks

Toby,

We are a singular group in here- fellow travelers who have experienced a loss that no one else can ever understand. The people here are some of the most compassionate I have ever talked to. God took my 33 year old daughter home just over three months ago, and I stumbled in here looking for, what? I don't know. What I found was understanding and a group that never told me to "stop. I can't listen to this right now." You can take as much time as you want, talk or not talk, and even post pictures of your precious one. I hope you will come back.

Robyn

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi Toby

I understand what you are saying, but as I read the posts of heartbroken Mom's, especially one's who have had suicide been the cause, boy I realise that must be devastating, as devasting as our children, but a little more so I would think. My son was in a head on collision coming home for Christmas they were 10 minutes from home after a 4 hour trip to get here, when they were about 20 minutes from home they phoned and told us Simon and I went out to wait for them at the gate as we always do when the boys are coming home, well after 40 minutes I was very concerned and asked Si to go a look for Damian my son and Helen his wife, my husband come across the accident, and saw Helen in the ambulance but they would not allow him near the car they were sparing him the sight, the minute Si left I knew, and I was running around the garden begging God not to take him, I phoned my sister to ask her to pray with me as I am going crazy, she said they could have broken down not to worry, but I just knew. My son was a very responsible young man with a bright career ahead of him been an engineer also one of South Africa's top paragliding pilots, at time I think it would have been easier to cope if it had happened doing the very dangerous sport he loved. I do realise that it has only been 2 months but it feels like eternity. Sometimes, I just read the posts and sometimes I have to encourage and find encouragement hearing what I am goint through is the same as most people on this side of God's regement.

Tina

Toby,

We are a singular group in here- fellow travelers who have experienced a loss that no one else can ever understand. The people here are some of the most compassionate I have ever talked to. God took my 33 year old daughter home just over three months ago, and I stumbled in here looking for, what? I don't know. What I found was understanding and a group that never told me to "stop. I can't listen to this right now." You can take as much time as you want, talk or not talk, and even post pictures of your precious one. I hope you will come back.

Robyn

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
1330375025' post='84589']

my oldest son and his girlfriend died in a car accident july 3rd. i'm not sure why i'm on here. i don't even feel like talking about it now. i don't even want to write their names all of a sudden. like it is too public or something but no one else out there understands and i just need some company of other parents who are heartbroken so i don't feel so alone. i will try this again later i guess. thanks

Toby,My daughter died 4 years ago on the same night as her boyfriend. They were just beginning to have a serious relationship and we were heartbroken. Please try to come back to the site. There are many of us here who are walking on this journeyof heartache and we understand.

Maddy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Toby - I lost my daughter in a car accident just over 5 months ago. She was only 16. We understand. Post and share when you feel comfortable. We'll be here for you. (((HUGS)))

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I understand getting here, then wondering why you're here. I lost my 3 year old son 9 months ago. Hearing everyone talk about their loss is painful, but I feel like the people in my life have all managed to move on and I'm stuck in the same place. No one wants to talk about it, but I can't not talk about it. I miss him so much! I hold his teddy bear, hide, and cry. I don't want to be a burden, but I don't know how to let go of even a little of this pain.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Toby...you are never going to be a burden! Talking about Micah is perfectly normal. Holding his fave toys are also normal things to do when you are experiencing this pain. So, if it gives you a sense of comfort then go and do it! Do not worry about what others tell you. This process of grieving is a one on one thing. There are no particular rules. You have to go with your gut instinct and live each day one step at a time trying to move forward. Your pace. And BTW...you may not be able to be with your son physically but he will always remain in your heart and very depth of your soul. He was after all you own flesh and blood. Stay strong and remember you will see him again one day. Keep mentioning his name. Why not? He did after all exist and was a strong force in your lives. Take care.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
tobyfreefoot

I understand getting here, then wondering why you're here. I lost my 3 year old son 9 months ago. Hearing everyone talk about their loss is painful, but I feel like the people in my life have all managed to move on and I'm stuck in the same place. No one wants to talk about it, but I can't not talk about it. I miss him so much! I hold his teddy bear, hide, and cry. I don't want to be a burden, but I don't know how to let go of even a little of this pain.

i am so sorry you have lost your little one at such a tender sweet age. the problem i had was exactly like yours. i needed to talk about my son and about my heartache and everyone else was going on. i think we have found somewhere we can do this. we can do it today and years from now. all these parents are suffering and they have all been so nice to let me talk. hopefully you will find some comfort in this nonjudgemental group of people whose hearts are also broken.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.