I loss my father, me best friend

[Takidojo]

I loss my father to cancer 7 years ago. I thought I handled it well at the time but 7 years later and it hasn't gotten any easier. He was fighting cancer for 5 years and died at age 50. He was very active and taught martial arts so it was very hard to see someone so strong being become so weak due to cancer. We spoke everyday, sent emails while at work, loved watching movies and just joking and laughing. Whenever I had any problems, he would always be there to make me feel better. I have friends but none like my father. When you're used to seeing and speaking to someone on a daily basis then all of a sudden you can't, it's the worst feeling. The worst thing that could happen to me, has happened and I feel so lonely and like part of me had died. I cry a lot because I don't know what to do and if I didn't have my son, who was born 2 years after my father passed, I'm not sure how I would be because I live for him. He has brought the joy that I go have, into my life. I just don't know what to do to cope with my loss, to make my life easier. I don't feel like I'm the same person since his death and I don't like the person Ive become. I used to be so happy, always smiling and joking but now it's like nothing makes me happy except for my son. Am in the process of starting up a foundation in my fathers name, to keep his name alive and to help other families dealing with someone who is fighting cancer and also to assist in the research for a cure. So I'm hoping this will keep me busy so that I'm not always so sad. I will keep anyone who is interested on the progress of my foundation. Thanks for reading my story. It felt good to let this out, I don't talk about it much, so thanks again