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Conniewhite33

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Conniewhite33

I am new on here. My sons name is shawn. He was our baby . At 19 , he was diagnosed witha very rare very aggressive cancer. We lost him just 4 months later. Our world just crashed dowen around us, and we are really strugglung to move on. Family doesnt want ua to grieve the loss . It mskes our adult children angry. They want to assume that shawn is more important tous than them. We had to pretend during the holidays that everything was fine. Now I am dealing with the overwelming pain and despair of having to mask my feelings. Any suggestions.

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I am so sorry for the loss of your son! Grief is a power unto itself and will not be ignored. Trying to hide it will only result in a bigger eruption somewhere down the road. That is my experience and my opinion. My 28 year old daughter died on August 9, 2009. She left behind three young children whom my husband and I are raising. Stephanie also left behind three adult siblings. My only suggestion would be to find a venue to vent, talk and cry. The "Loss of an adult child" seems to get more traffic than other threads on this forum. Please go there and introduce yourself. There are people there with more experience and greater wisdom.

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

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Conniesue

I agree with Susannah, Grief will not be denied. The more you try to mask it the worse it will get. If your children are grow, they may be old enough to understand that grief is a very difficult road and cannot be denied.

Take care my friend and join us on the Loss of an Adult Child.

Colleen

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I am new on here. My sons name is shawn. He was our baby . At 19 , he was diagnosed witha very rare very aggressive cancer. We lost him just 4 months later. Our world just crashed dowen around us, and we are really strugglung to move on. Family doesnt want ua to grieve the loss . It mskes our adult children angry. They want to assume that shawn is more important tous than them. We had to pretend during the holidays that everything was fine. Now I am dealing with the overwelming pain and despair of having to mask my feelings. Any suggestions.

Conniesue...I am really sorry to read about your son Shawn's passing. I completely understand your shock and sense of abandonment by family. My son Jeff died on December 12, 2009. It is a long story, but suffice to say, he died suddenly and unexpectedly. You are still in shock and raw from what has happened. Grief does not have any particular set course to follow. Many of us here go through stages of denial, anger, panic,etc. and it happens again and again. It is something that cannot be ignored. After my son died my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer about a month later. It took up all of our attention and energy. She passed away May 30 of this past year. It was only then that I started to grieve for my son. Even though I know it has been just now two full years. I am ashamed to say I did not have time to respectfully and lovingly mourn him. You need to be allowed to do this. It is impossible to think you can keep it successfully locked up inside. Hopefully your other children will soon begin to understand the heartache that you as his mother is experiencing. This is not a competition between siblings. But a heartbreaking need to come to grips with the loss of one of your own flesh and blood. Talk openly about Shawn and let them see that although he may not be with you in body... his presence is still very much a part of your family and always will be.

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Conniewhite33

Thank u,all for your support and understanding. I appreciate talking to people who have been theee and do know what, I am experiencing. God bless,you all and I am so sorry about the loss,of your children as,well. It just doesnt seem fair to lose our kids.

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Yes, we are all going through this at various stages. I hope that you will feel comfortable in posting and sharing with us about your son. Please take care of yourself and I hope you have a peaceful sleep tonight.

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