Members VitoBro Posted January 3, 2023 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2023 My amazing cat, Vito was attacked by my sister's dog. We rushed him to the hospital right away and he got good care for a couple nights. A couple days later I met with him and he started purring his signature great purr. Things were looking good to bring him home but then the vets ran into problems with Vito because of an aspiration issue a couple nights later. It was obvious we could never bring him home and we had to say goodbye. I'll cherish the fact that shortly before he passed away, I itched him on his chin while he was looking at me and knew that it was me comforting him and by his side. I would be his final memory in this life and we received his ashes to memorialize him. The part I don't know how to handle is if I can ever see my sister's dog again and not think of that traumatic memory. It's in his nature, but I loved that cat with everything I had and am still hurting from this. I just don't know what to do for me to be ok being around that dog when all that dog is is a walking memory of what happened that day. I just don't know what to do... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ted j Posted January 4, 2023 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2023 I can't tell you how sorry I am for the loss of Vito. You were there in his final moments and you were both very fortunate for that to happen. I've lost several pets in my life, most recently 2 weeks ago when I lost my best friend,my Greyhound Tuco, and I'm still in pain. I know this won't last forever as well as I know time will heal your wounds too. That awful memorry of the attack will begin to dissipate, not completely, but to the point that it won't consume you. You'll begin to think of and appreciate the time you had with Vito. Your sister's dog, as you acknowledged,acted on instinct. No one can tell you how to feel when you encounter that dog. I know I would need to stay away from him until I began to deal with the loss of my pet. Then and only then would I allow myself to be in the same room with him. Please don't force yourself into a situation you may not be ready for. Make sure you make healing yourself the number one priority, your sister's dog is not important right now and shold be avoided until you are ready. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members VitoBro Posted January 4, 2023 Author Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2023 I appreciate that. I'm trying to keep the dog out of my mind the best way I can by not seeing him and focus on healing. But I really really miss him... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted January 4, 2023 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2023 2 hours ago, Ted j said: Please don't force yourself into a situation you may not be ready for. Make sure you make healing yourself the number one priority, your sister's dog is not important right now and shold be avoided until you are ready. Absolutely! @VitoBro I am so sorry that both you and your precious Vito went through that. You have suffered a heart shattering loss. There's no way I would be able to even look at your sister's dog at this point. It may be in their nature, but it's nevertheless horrible that it happened. Clearly, her dog should not ever be allowed around other cats (or any other small animals, for that matter). Given much time, comfort, and help, you may be able to forgive as you slowly move forward. But that time is not now. It may be months or even years. You are just beginning a painful grief journey. As you find your way slowly forward, you'll know if the time ever comes that you can see her dog and not feel the trauma as deeply as you do now. Please do not push yourself or allow anyone else to try to push you into forgiving. You will never forget, that's a given, so let yourself grieve in whatever way you need and do not subject yourself to anything that makes your grieving harder or more painful. You are not alone. The members here will listen and comfort and help if we can. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 4, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted January 4, 2023 Perhaps your sister can meet you at your place not hers or another like a restaurant, she needs to understand how traumatic this not only has been for you but still is and may always be! What has helped me in my life is understanding first of all what forgiveness is not: It is NOT saying what the person (or dog) did is okay. It is not and never will be okay. Then and only then are you able to "forgive" and many times we have to go on without the person (or dog) in our lives and THAT is okay too. Forgiving is never saying "Ahh, it's okay..." Hell no!!! I am so sorry to both of you for your losses, I honestly think loss of a pet is one of the hardest losses we can have, these animals are so loving, caring, to me they seem beyond humans, quite honestly. They are loyal, and in our lives and our days continuously. Your daily interactions are now interrupted with the stark reminder of their absence...and that is a lot to deal with. This is a quote from DWS in our loss of spouse section:Try to think that things are this way "for now". I truly believe that's one way we get through such horrible loss. It ties in with the loving advice of doing this one day at a time. We have no idea what lies ahead...good or bad (hopefully some good)....but this despair, emptiness, loneliness, endless longing for our persons, it's all happening for now. I don't like it...I absolutely hate it...but I'm trusting that there will be moments in my future that will feel lighter and the pain alleviates. It's only this way for now. Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Anawilliam850 Posted January 4, 2023 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2023 I'm very sorry for your lost, but at least you were by his side during the last day and he give you a purr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KyHellsbelles Posted January 4, 2023 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2023 17 hours ago, VitoBro said: I just don't know what to do... I'm so very sorry about Vito. Lifting you that you might find comfort and healing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted January 4, 2023 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2023 My heart breaks for you and Vito reading this, it seems to happen a lot. It's hard to know what's going on w/ animals, no matter how normally friendly. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 5, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted January 5, 2023 Thinking of you and sending prayers and comforting thoughts your way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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