My bestfriend Cali died, and we are not prepared of it. Biggest heartbreak.

[CaliGee]

CALI My Bestfriend, My love, My Everything

 

December 12, 2022, this was the worst day of my life! Cali, my very special dog passed away at around 3:45AM. I can't accept it. It was so sudden that it really shocked me and my whole family.  The result of her lab result showed that she has kidney problem and it's already Stage 2-3. There's also a possibility that a poisonous ingredient of my other dog's medicine is the cause of her death. It's really not clear. But, one thing is for sure, she was so brave. She didn't show even a slightly hint that she's hurting or if she's suffering- not until few hours before her death.

I am so so so sad. I cried and cried,  and it hurts more everyday. I don't know what to do. We were together for more than 2 years. She's my bestfriend, playmate, drawing companion, my baby, my life. We were together during the lowest and highest point of my life. She's always there for me. She's the one who showed me unconditional love. I love her very much and that will never change. No other pets can replace her. She's my one and only. 

I hope, I spend more time with her, I hope I ensure that she have a healthier life. 

I hope that she's still with me, with us. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to save your life. I wish I have done more. It's very difficult to live everyday knowing that you will no longer return. I just hope that everything that happened is just a dream.  

[KayC]

I am so sorry, I know all too well how hard it is when you lose your best friend and family member.  No a new pet never "replaces" them...instead they create a new spot in your heart made just for them, but meanwhile you keep thinking of the other and it's so hard.  It took me awhile but now Kodie has wormed his way into my heart and life so I can't imagine life without him, but at first, doing the comparison thing, he was on the losing end, I knew it wasn't fair to him but...

5 hours ago, CaliGee said:

I hope that she's still with me, with us. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to save your life. I wish I have done more.

This breaks my heart, oh how I know this within me all too well!  My Arlie passed 3 1/2 years ago, 25 1/2 year old Kitty soon followed, he had cancer, her...old age, kidney and liver shut down.  

Every day seems a reminder for so very long.  I look out over my backyard where he is buried, I keep his grave clear and painted rocks for it, one has him in the back end of the truck, tongue and tail flying in the wind...he loved going for rides.  I think it's good I got a dog so different from him, helps not to expect one the same.  Arlie was huge, Kodie is small, Arlie rode in the back end of the pickup, Kodie in a laundry basket wedged in next to me in the front seat.  Kodie too small for Arlie's toys...little by little I gave them away, but buried him with his favorite and first one, a stuffed duck...the only soft toy he didn't chew up!  He treasured it.

I know those early days/months/years are really tough, I'm sending you hugs and praying for comfort and peace for you. 

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

 

 

[AJWCat]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how especially bad it can be when it's so sudden. It is devastating. You found the right place to come and share. Hang in there. 

[CaliGee]

12 hours ago, KayC said:

I am so sorry, I know all too well how hard it is when you lose your best friend and family member.  No a new pet never "replaces" them...instead they create a new spot in your heart made just for them, but meanwhile you keep thinking of the other and it's so hard.  It took me awhile but now Kodie has wormed his way into my heart and life so I can't imagine life without him, but at first, doing the comparison thing, he was on the losing end, I knew it wasn't fair to him but...

This breaks my heart, oh how I know this within me all too well!  My Arlie passed 3 1/2 years ago, 25 1/2 year old Kitty soon followed, he had cancer, her...old age, kidney and liver shut down.  

Every day seems a reminder for so very long.  I look out over my backyard where he is buried, I keep his grave clear and painted rocks for it, one has him in the back end of the truck, tongue and tail flying in the wind...he loved going for rides.  I think it's good I got a dog so different from him, helps not to expect one the same.  Arlie was huge, Kodie is small, Arlie rode in the back end of the pickup, Kodie in a laundry basket wedged in next to me in the front seat.  Kodie too small for Arlie's toys...little by little I gave them away, but buried him with his favorite and first one, a stuffed duck...the only soft toy he didn't chew up!  He treasured it.

I know those early days/months/years are really tough, I'm sending you hugs and praying for comfort and peace for you. 

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

 

 

Thank you so much for your comforting words. It really helps that someone understands me. Praying that all of us who are experiencing the same thing will find peace in our hearts in God’s time. We just have to be strong and move forward so that our fur babies will also be happy looking out for us. 

[CaliGee]

5 hours ago, AJWCat said:

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how especially bad it can be when it's so sudden. It is devastating. You found the right place to come and share. Hang in there. 

Thank you so much! This forum really helps knowing how much we love our fur babies. I’m trying to survive day by day without Cali, and looking forward to a better day. I know she doesn’t want me to be sad, she always wants me to be happy, so I’ll try my very best. 

[seraph]

I lost my best fur friend, Murphy, of 13 years yesterday. It was absolutely the worst emotional pain I’ve felt in decades. I woke today for work, and I felt pretty ok. So much so I was prepared to dig his grave, which I did, and buried him. I took a hot shower, drank some hot tea and I thought I was in good shape. Then, like a flash tsunami, the agony and pain slammed me. I tried for about 2 hours to quell the intense feelings of loss to no avail. Finally, I went to my bedroom, laid down and just wept for a bit. And I feel a little bit better now. Apparently releasing your sadness with a solid cry, saying aloud “I miss them so much!” frees you for a bit. I feel a bit calmer now. I’m sure I’ll need to go through many more bouts of this, but I think it helps alleviate the gut-wrenching agony of the loss. I’m not much of a crier, but if it’s therapeutic, then I suppose I’ll learn to let go with tears when I am feelings this way. I hope you find peace this way. I’m sorry, it’s so difficult. You are truly not alone. I understand this agonizing pain. It’s so hard. 

[KayC]

11 hours ago, seraph said:

I lost my best fur friend, Murphy, of 13 years yesterday.

I am so sorry...I know the pain and how hard it is.  Everything is a reminder, their dishes, toys, bed, water bowl, I kept Arlie's filled for a very long time, I don't know what I was hoping for, for his spirit to come back and drink?  At two weeks I was so tempted to dig him up so I could see and kiss his sweet face once again...thankfully I didn't, I know he wouldn't have looked like when I put him in the ground...you know that in your head but it doesn't appease your heart any.

Not wanting to steal Cali's thread but this is for you....
Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

 

 

[KayC]

@CaliGee  Thinking of you today, keeping you in my prayers.  

[foreverhis]

On 12/15/2022 at 8:37 AM, KayC said:

@CaliGee  Thinking of you today, keeping you in my prayers.  

As am I.