Worried about New Years

[Ellekent]

Hi everyone 

I'm new to this forum so please excuse me if this has been discussed further down. I've been feeling rather lonely the last month as my husband has been exceptionally busy (a topic for another day) and I have no close friends my age (28) who have lost a parent.

I lost my dad to cancer back in August this year. He passed away just 4 weeks before my wedding so suffice to say these last few months have been very heavy on my heart with extreme highs and huge lows. A lot of major life events have happened altogether.

I will be experiencing Christmas without him for the first time this year and whilst I am finding this a scary prospect, I will be with my mum and sister and family which gives me some comfort. However, for new years I will be in my husbands home town with him and his family and friends. I'm not sure if it sounds silly as it's 'only ' new years eve but the thought of bringing in the new year and saying goodbye to such an emotionally complex one away from my home at a party with, whilst kind people, not my friends or family, is making me extremely anxious. I'd rather just see the back of this year in private and grieve quietly. 

Has anyone else had this and if so, please can I ask how you coped? 

Thank you  x

[EmmaO21]

Hi Ellekent,

My father passed away one year ago today and I have been dreading this day for a long long time. So I understand completely what you mean. Christmas and NYE last year went by without any celebrations; I just wanted to be with my mom, sister and husband. We held a dinner to commemorate my father with his brothers and sister, my cousins, etc. Perhaps you can plan something like that once Christmas and NYE are over? It might give you something to look forward to you. It sounds scary at first, but we had a wonderful time laughing and crying as we remembered my father. Im sure it will be the same for you.

I am also 33, so quiet young to lose a parent. He lost a terrible battle with cancer and had such a painful last two months in his life. It was very isolating and still is. My friends dont understand and frankly at this point I don't care if they do - some things are better left for ourselves. Try speaking to your husband closer to the holidays or a counselor. My therapist helped me as well as this forum. You are not alone... there are so many like us out there: young who had just lost a parent. Grief doesn't go away, but it does get easier.