Grieving my Dad and brother

[JessicaG]

My brother had a double brain surgery last December 2021, was in the ICU until a little over a month ago, in the meantime our father passed away suddenly from a supposed heart attack, at the age of 68, soon after he received his booster vaccine, in February 2022. 
I have not been able to talk with my brother about our father’s passing because of his frail condition. Our mother will not acknowledge our father’s passing due to her own personal reasons, and our step-mother is also grieving the loss of her husband.

I have a beautiful daughter and husband, and both of them have been amazingly supportive, but I am still hurting and feeling so alone, even though I have their constant love. 

I have been in therapy since March of this year, was in a women’s support group, been trying numerous anti-depressant medications, recently saw a naturopath doctor, religion, exercise, been reaching out to family and friends, trying to eat healthier. . . 

I am taking care of my daughter daily, but not the same way I had before all of this took place. My husband has been taking care of the three of us, holding us together, when this has been the most challenging life event I have ever experienced. 
I’ve let so much go, my motivation is at a bare minimum, and I’ve just been going through the motions to get through each day. 

I’m wondering if anyone else has any advice on how to move through this any easier and better, and how to get back to a life I once loved to live for?

[Tana]

So sorry for such heartbreak you have had.  It sounds like you have wonderful family support to be grateful for.  Maybe try to count your blessings every day, out loud.  Positive affirmations said out loud can drown out the negative voices inside that mainly concentrate on the negatives, our loss,  and what we don’t have. Also get a doctor’s checkup and maybe take B vitamins.  Be kind to yourself, speak gently to yourself, and force yourself to smile at least once every day, just as a gift to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up about what you’ve had to let go, it will all come together again in due  time when you are feeling better. Be patient and forgiving with yourself just like you would be to someone you were trying to encourage in the same situation.  You wouldn’t expect too much of them, and you would let them grieve in the timeline they needed. Give yourself that same patience. Be a friend to yourself now, you need one.