Lost my father recently

[MamaKoo]

My father was my absolute twin soul, my best friend, I lost him suddenly from an accident and I've never experienced a loss so close to me. I am 31, in recovery for about 3 years now and although I don't have any urge to change that I worry about how I am processing this. It's been over two weeks now and my sleep is still all over the place and I'm procrastinating chores and other things that need my attention. I do get by doing the minimum but I'm starting to feel badly about myself because I haven't progressed yet. I don't really know what I'm doing, I'm completely new at this. I just feel so alone sometimes so I'm just open to anything to help me through this. 

[Traz]

Dear Mamakoo,

The pain from tremendous loss is a journey - spiritually, physically and mentally. It takes a lot of time to process and eventually come to some type of 'terms' with it.  I am truly sorry for the loss of your beloved father. My Dad was my best friend too and I lost him when I was 32. I'm 56 now and still cry because I long to have a hug from him or hear him call me sweetheart. 

If I read correctly, your father only passed a few weeks ago? So you are only in the very early stages of grief where so many emotions are all over the place. It can take months for some, years for others. Everyone does grief differently and there is no right or wrong way. 

I lost my mom in 2019 and during the early days, I started listening to podcasts on grief, ordering books from Amazon about the subject and writing in a journal. I also have a journal I write in, just to her. It helped me sort through all kinds of difficult feelings and became a place I could honour my sadness and feel her presence. Keep reaching out here and perhaps your area has some grief support groups running, now that Covid is not as much of a threat. 

Take care and remember to be kind to your grieving self. Hugs Xo 

Traz

[kjk813]

🤗.  The holidays are definitely a struggle, especially when you lose someone that is so close to you..  You are definitely a strong writer and I hope that posting your feelings here will slowly help you with your grieving process.