Loss of pet

[aastha mane]

Hello everyone.. 

I have little idea as to how this things works..but my desperation to find answers as to why my baby was taken away from me has brought me here.. i adopted mocha, a one-month old Indian Spitz, in June 2020. It was definitely love at first sight. He was my best friend, and in more ways than one it's was him who rescued me and not the other way round. We live in an apartment on the fourth floor, right on a busy highway. I have another pet, a 9 year old Belgian shepherd-indie mix, who has a habit of running from the house and roaming around but as everyone is well acquainted with Frodo, he always comes back home safely. I was always afraid that mocha would do the same.. i wanted to get this problem fixed. I approached a vet, and she suggested me that get mocha neutered would be a good option for his overall health and also the safety concerns i had for him as he would no longer have the desire to mate. So after delaying it for a long time, i finally got him neutered on 01/10/2022. It was a successful surgery. Mocha was out of the effect of the anesthesia on a normal scale. The two days went by normally. On the evening of 03/10/2022, mocha got up to greet my dad as he came home, it was a daily ritual, and soon as he saw my dad, he collapsed, had seizures and then passed away due to cardiac arrest. It has taken me almost a month to come to my senses as to what happened that fateful evening. Mocha was my whole life. My day begun with his routine and ended with cuddling him. All my plan, my daily routine, everything revolved around him. The thought of anything happening to him sent shivers down my spine. I have not yet been able to accept his loss. I am stuck in a loop and I cannot help but blame myself. Why did I had to get him neutered? Why didn't I choose another vet? Why didn't I get all parameters checked? Did i trigger an underlying condition? I won't be at peace till i get an answer.. and no one is able to answer them for me.. there's no question of forgiving myself. I just want him to be at peace, and maybe have some myself as well.. 

[KayC]

Oh Hon, I count my lucky stars...after scheduling a neuter appt, gave them my M/C # and that night I couldn't sleep, the mgr of the City of Eugene spay/neuter clinic Had scared the daylights out of me and I got up early and canceled the appt.  They'd said they'd credit me if I canceled with 24 hour notice and appt was a month away.  They refused to refund me, were very nasty.  I filed a dispute and it took two months for the bank to find in my favor.  It'll cost a fortune over the years with licensing, even though I'm in the country and they don't service us, they had a policy the vets let them know you have a dog and you get billed every year, so no senior discount, they charge a lot, but it's worth in to have my dog with me, intact but alive.  I have heard others with the same story as yours.I don't know what/why this happened, but I am very sorry it did.  You can rest assured your dog is at peace now, and I truly believe we will be with them again.

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died 17 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[AJWCat]

I am so so sorry for your loss. I still don't fully know what happened to my cat who seemed to maybe have ingested something (maybe poison?) and was finally put out his misery. It was horrible. The worst thing to happen to my sweet innocent cat.

Five years later and my heart still aches at the thoughts of that night.  

I was desperate for answers. Like a crazy person. But I was too upset to do go ahead with an autopsy when asked, because I was not thinking clearly... and so I will forever not truly know what happened and why and even with that, maybe it would just lead to more questions...?

I know you will find peace someday. You realize that instead of seeking answers... sometimes there is no answer good enough.

It's an unfair loss. And so you work through the grief day by day. Reaching some type of peace with it eventually. It just takes time.