The pain will ease…

[Jar]

Hello, I’ve been meaning to write this for a while.  I joined this forum 16 months ago after the sudden and heart wrenching loss of my 12 year old cat and best friend, Adam.  To say I was heartbroken and lost would be an major understatement.  My boy Adam was all I had left after a recent divorce and subsequently losing my house.  After I lost Adam too I really didn’t know how I was going to go on.  I came here looking for support and found some from some wonderfully compassionate people, many of whom were going through their own crippling grief.  At the time, as I read through pages of peoples stories I remember a lack of updates from people who has come out the other side of their grief.  There were some, but I was hoping for more.  Eventually I came to realize that most people do come to terms with their pain and most probably don’t return to this forum.  I promised myself that if and when I got to the light at the end of the tunnel I would return and offer any words of encouragement that I could.  
Things took me a long time.  For many months the idea of another pet seemed impossible.  Could I love it?  Would I always compare it to Adam?  Would it be an imposter in my home.  These feelings kept me from adopting a new pet.  After about 6 months I found myself just browsing ads in pet shelters.  After another couple months I found myself at a shelter and adopting two sweet young brothers, cats.  I’d be lying if I didn’t feel like a made a bad decision at times after I brought them home.  But as animals do, it didn’t take them long to steal my heart.  Now I don’t know what I’d do without them.  They aren’t Adam, and I still find myself thinking about him and missing him dearly.  But they aren’t supposed to be Adam.  They are sweet, beautiful and sometimes naughty boys, but they are exactly who they are supposed to be.

So, I just wanted to share my experience in the hope that it helps someone realize that the pain does ease.  You’ll never stop missing your friend, but one day you will be able to smile at their memory and if it’s right for you, give all your love to some other buddy who needs a home and love.

[KayC]

Thank you for coming back and sharing this!  Yes, it's what I've found too.  My heart still aches for my Arlie and even Kitty and Miss Mocha, but Kodie has so stolen my heart after nearly three years with him that I can't imagine life without him, and don't want to...but in different ways than with Arlie.  They bring their own contributions to our hearts and lives!

Congrats on your new additions!