Sophielove

[SophieEcho]

My beautiful cat, Sophie, who was just 12 years and a month had a heart attack and died five days later at the vet. She was at home the previous four days not eating and finally not drinking. She is my everything in life; my baby, my mom, best friend, my sister. It has been two months today and I cry everyday and look fpr her in her usual spots. She is sensible, loving, playful, like love itself. We shared every good and bad day together and she was so powerful she made me overcome everything. I feel like I can not live without her, I eat minimum, I dont want to eat but because I have heart medication  I have to and I just sit here and wait fpr her, to sense her. I should have taken her to vet sooner but she was always so afraid. I feel guilty of being tired the previous months because I had to take care of my mother and felt spent. Maybe she felt stress too. I can not imagine a life without her or evee being happy again

[KayC]

A story that could have been written by every one of us, but it wasn't, it was written by you, in your situation, and I am so sorry for your loss.  It's the hardest thing in the world to live without your beloved pet, they are so much more to us!  They are our reason for living, our companion, the joy in our lives!  So what do we do when we find our lives abruptly halted...without them?!

I found myself in this situation 8/16/19 when my Arlie died.  And 4 1/2 months later 25 1/2 year old Kitty died.  I still have Arlie's coat hanging on my chair where I go by it every day and sometimes hold it.  Kitty didn't wear a collar or anything so no mementos of her saving the few pictures I took.  I have a lock of Arlie's fur and his paw print in motion as I called that last attempt...

I started walking a neighbor's dog to fill some of the void, it was different, and it ended in disaster for me...for him too as I could no longer walk him after his hard yank damaged my hand so badly and the bite he gave me on the other hand finished the job later.  My heart broke again, this time for a Chow named Joe, he died a couple years later, his parents didn't tell me so I could say goodbye, I learned on Facebook.

I tried adopting a little dog named Jackson, but he bit me four times...it took three days for them to come get him, and it broke my heart again. (Loved Again Pets)  I'd been lied to about his background, and his foster dad refused to let him have the stuffed monkey I'd gotten him.  I loved Jackson but was afraid of when he'd give his next bite.  No remedy for the bites I'd received.  Never in my life had I been bitten and I got 8 bites in one year!  Now I have hands that are useless, my fingers stutter when I type and I have to proof read everything.  Add botched surgery and overzealous dermatologist and hard yank to it, 11 injuries, half of them major.

Maybe if you don't feel like eating you could have smoothies?  Sometimes easier on your tummy when grieving.  Before I was diabetic I used to have spinach/yogurt/banana/orange juice/protein powder/granola smoothies.  I can't have the fruit or grain now. 

I am sorry you are hurting so much, I wish I could make it go away, I know of nothing but time to help you through it and meanwhile it's time that is hard to do right now.  

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died 17 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.