Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Cumulative grief losing multiple loved ones


Twina77

Recommended Posts

  • Members

I never knew there was a term for what I am experiencing here is a timeline 

2009: unexpected death of older sister 

2013: mom passes away 

2016: unexpected death of oldest sister 

2020: another unexpected death of brother 

2022: another brother passed away 

I never had time to actually deal with the grief of losing one of them before the next one passed away I just learned that cumulative grief is a real thing 

  • Thanks 1
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I am sincerely sorry for the loss of so many, so suddenly. Yes it is real. You didn't mention your father. I hope you have at least someone to lean on, and vice versa. Just remember that they're with you always even though you can't see them. They are your blood. Not that blood is a prerequisite for family by any means. I'm in the same boat with you sis. My mother passed away in 2020, and I was looking at her phone and found this. Missing her tonight. She was the last person of a baker's dozen that I shared the best years of my life with. Just letting you know that you're not alone in your condition. It is very rare to lose so much of your identity so quickly. There's a reason you are still breathing. You are strong and God knows this very well. You will learn to adapt to the circumstances that come your way. I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to who can relate. Take it easy and know there are angels watching over you tonight. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
LoveNeverDies

I am so sorry, huge hugs. I’m trying to deal with multiple people in my life passing away too. In 2005 my fiancé died of brain cancer , our daughter was only 8 months old ,my boyfriend died in 2020, my brother suddenly in 2021, now my dad is in hospice in the final days of his life.It’s so hard , it’s like just when you’re crawling out of that hole of grief , you get smacked down all over again . Makes it so hard to go on ..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

This sounds like it applies a bit to my situation as well. I hope you have found some time for grief since posting.

My little cousin (like a sister to me) passed and her mom, my aunt, passed 6 months later. She just sort of gave up and wouldn't leave her bed due to grief. Now, my grandfather is in hospice and my grandmother just had to have heart surgery (they had partial custody of me when I was growing up, so we're very close). When my cousin and aunt passed, I couldn't afford to go home for their funerals. Now, I'm doing what I can to go home to be with loved ones. In the meantime, work and life continues on, and I don't feel like I have the literal time I need to grieve. What's more, my grandfather has been fading away, but isn't gone yet. How do you grieve someone you haven't technically lost yet? What happens when I finally do? My mom's health has also been worsening.  I feel like I can't breathe from all this grief and the avalanche I see coming.

  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

At 16, x4 member of my family passed away, all close to me, Dad, Nan, grandad and my dog, I didn't know how to grieve as I was more concerned of the mental state of my mum, her world just fell apart and I felt numb.  I had so many people telling me I had to be there for her but felt no-one was there for me.  Our relationship deteriorated over time.  Jump forward to 2019 Mum got diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer, she was too poorly to be operated on, was unable to have chemo or radiotherapy. She died within 6 months of her diagnosis.  My world then spiralled - I was now grieving for mum and also my dad and nan and grandad, I went to a dark place.  In the Jan 20, I got diagnosed with breast cancer - everything I was feeling suddenly stopped as the this was a reality check for me that I had to start looking after myself.  If you are reading this..... be kind to yourself and forgive yourself. 

  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.