Alex My Beautiful Boy

[patrickmorrow]

It is less than 3 weeks ago I lost him to addiction. My wife is struggling with guilt and questioning her walk with God. She seems to have lost her purpose in life for now. My son Ethan who is 20 is struggling with things too. He is sleeping long hours, in his room playing video games and has lost his joy. I am back to work as a teacher only because I have to. Any recommendations as my family is a wreck right now. God Bless!

Patrick 

[Dewbs]

Dear Patrick,

My heart goes out to you. I know this is a terrible, terrible loss for you and your family. My first thought is that you need more time before returning to work, but I did the same thing after my son passed 5 years ago. I was back at work after 2 weeks. The first weeks, months, even years are so hard. It is a total life adjustment for everyone.

I understand where your wife is coming from. I am still struggling with my faith although I have continued to hang on hoping that God is still hanging on to me - that is his promise after all. How could He allow our children to be taken so soon? 

I highly recommend finding a grief counselor for yourself and your wife and son if any of you are open to it. There are a lot of grief groups out there and forums like this one. I tried a grief group but was too overcome with everyone's intense pain that I found it was not for me. I am a bit of a lurker here - reading and commenting now and then - but I know I can always post and get lots of encouragement and compassion from the other wonderful parents who are here.

I lost my son to a fentanyl overdose. He relapsed after being sober just a few weeks...he was 27 years old. If what he thought was heroin had not been fentanyl, maybe he would still be here? I don't know. We had several years of trauma due to his mental health issues and substance abuse before his death. I was so hopeful that he had finally found his way, but one bad decision to use again took him away. The guilt has been the hardest thing for me to deal with - what could I have done differently? Why was I so hard on him to get his life turned around? and on it goes. 

I know there is no remedy for this pain, but it does slowly become tolerable and a part of your life. You and your family are in the very early days, and it may be difficult to see a light at the end of the tunnel. You have a lot of grieving to do and that is only natural. It takes a while to sort it all out. Give yourself and your family a lot of love and compassion. Sadly sometimes our friends and relatives do not know what to do or say. that's normal too.

Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Susan

Aaron's Mom

[patrickmorrow]

Thank you so much you’re such a blessing