In Search of My Brother's presence

[Frantz]

Hi everyone,

My father has lost his first child (my eldest brother), in a horrible fire. He was only 11-months old.

I am my father's youngest, and love him dearly. I have not known the child, but the ghost of his memory and tragic death hovers around me and my father's relationship ever since I can remember. It's hard for us to speak about it openly and honestly. It's too sensitive.

I'm an artist. I have been trying for several years now to make sense of it all and somehow create an image of my brother - to make his presence felt on the outside as it does on our insides... to understand my father better through art.

So I will kindly ask you the following question:

 

What changed in your surroundings the moment the death happened (or when you've found out about it)? 

Light, shadow and colors seemed different? Did the room grow larger\smaller? Has the view out the window became stranger? A certain object in the room appeared? or disappeared? Did you hear something specific?

These are just a couple of examples for what I mean, but absolutely anything will be helpful for me to paint this picture of grief in my head, and nothing will appear anywhere else without permission.

Thank you.

I hope you find love within the pain.